Hope
The most wonderful thing about today was God speaking to me and reminding me about how real He is. Knowing God and living life with Him is the most exciting way to live, and the most satisfying. Every day has purpose with God, every day He has something He wants to reveal to us or teach us or encourage us about, every day He has something for us to do – big or small – which is always fulfilling.
For the past weeks I have struggled with feelings of being ‘flat.’ I have not experienced true depression before, but for some weird reason I have been feeling a heaviness which I have not been able to shake off. I have not actively brought this before God, but today I did.
He revealed to me a Scripture which is “hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12). I sat with coffee, with Jesus, in our bay window in the pale early morning sun and just thought about this passage for a while before work. I became aware of expectations that have not yet been fulfilled in an area of my life and the way this was slowly eroding my confidence and joy. Very subtly my attitude was becoming dampened in this area.
In my heart I knew God’s mercy and understanding, He knows me better than I know myself, but I knew that the way to be restored and strong again was to turn away from negativity, apologise to God, and begin to thank Him for all of the blessings He has given me today.
Proverbs 13:12 teaches us when our desire is fulfilled it is a tree of life to us, which is a wonderful thing, but this fulfillment must come in God’s time and in His way. He is a loving and faithful Father and so we can rely on Him. As I began to entrust my disappointment to Him and simply to trust in Him to know what is good for me, peace returned. Joy also returned. I am going to ask the Holy Spirit to help me walk in this simple trust each day.
Aside from how good this revelation has been, the most compelling part of it is the reminder that we serve a very real, a very present and a very loving Father.
