Aside from some lovely trips away, I have been going through a tough time recently. You know those times when issues seem to fly at you from every corner, one after the other? Everything from putting my back out, to a big business difficulty, to misunderstandings with people, to insomnia and it goes on. I don’t know if others experience this, but when a lot of hard things are going on, I often find it difficult to stop thinking through it all at night. It gets to a point where I’ve been lying wide awake for so long that I am no longer able to go to sleep. I end up even more frayed and exhausted the next day, so it’s not a good cycle to get into – eek!

The thing which has got to me most though, is how easy it is to disconnect from God in these times. It’s the weirdest thing how you can be full of faith and passion for Him one minute, and then be floundering and disconnected and out of your depth the next. In a way it reminds me of the point we can take away from Peter’s experience of walking on the water with Jesus. When His eyes were fixed on Jesus, he had the faith to defy the natural, and walk on the water with Him. As soon as he took his eyes off Jesus, and looked at his circumstances, he literally started to drown in them.

Even though I feel disappointed that I did not make more of an effort to abide in God through this time, it’s good that God has allowed me to see where I can grow with Him. What a life achievement huh? To remain stable, and peaceful, and joyful and faithful right through the tough times. What a reflection of God at work in our lives.

Another good thing I’ve experienced is that even as we take our eyes off God, He never takes His eyes off us. He loves us so much and is always trying to communicate with us and encourage us. For example, just this week when Michael and I received a nasty and hurtful shock, I was reeling with tiredness, frustration, anger and stress. In the natural, it seems that this circumstance will be a big and unexpected burden over the year ahead. In spite of it all though, deep down inside my spirit, I felt God prompting His Word to encourage me –

No weapon formed against you shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17)

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28)

In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world (John 16:33)

He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4)

… but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:13)

I can feel the Holy Spirit stirring something in me even now as I write this. I believe Him. I believe “Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us” (Ephesians 3:20). He is growing my faith to see His hand is in this and that reassures me, because I know Him; that He is very, very, good.

~ by Birgit on May 25, 2007.

Posted in Devotional