Sex and Regret
Yesterday I hosted an interview on our afternoon show, talkGOD, and the topic was about sex and young people.
We talked about the reasons why people choose to get into sexual relationships at young ages, like the possibility of confusing sex with the desire for friendship and affirmation from another person for example, the link between low self esteem and lack of sexual boundaries, and the role that alcohol plays in sexual encounters (apparently the number of young people who say that they had sex after having been drinking is high).
We talked about the way people are affected. The obvious physical consequences that can result like STIs and teen pregnancy, but also the less obvious effects like the way people feel about themselves after having sex in different relationships. Some people may be OK with it, but others feel bad, and feel regret.
What about for Christians? I sometimes think it must be very hard for Christian singles because there is the added awareness and regret of having grieved God if they stumble in this area of sexual purity outside of marriage. I wonder if we talk about the challenge of abstinence enough at church, I wonder if we make it easy for single people at church to talk about the need for intimacy and the feelings of regret that may be there if sex has happened.
So what would God say to us if we are struggling or if we have regrets? Regrets about anything.
As much as He takes joy in our growth, His heart is completely compassionate towards us. He understands us and our weakness. “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust” Psalm 103:13-14.
Jesus Himself sympathises with us. “For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathise with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet was without sin” Hebrews 4:15.
When we talk to Him about our regret, and ask Him for His help to be different, His response to us is grace. Grace and compassion Psalm 103:8.
As I left the interview and travelled home on the train, I felt God confirm His heart of forgiveness and fresh starts in the book I am reading.
Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
Isaiah 43:18-19
I’d love to know your thoughts on this topic of regret and fresh starts with God. How have you experienced God when you have gone to Him with regret? Have you had the experience of a new beginning with God in any area of your life?
You make a great point when you mention if we are talking about this in our churches and giving people a way out. There are some very strong words in the books of the letters to the Corinthians because Paul knew that their culture was decadent and needed to hear what God thought about their practices. We, as a church, need to not be afraid to address these issues in a real way.
You have a radio program? Or is it on T.V.? I have some friends who live in the area you do and I would love to recommend it to them.
Hi @ngie, yeah, that’s so true about being open and real within our churches, and responding to the different issues that each of us face.
Yeah, it’s a Christian TV programme on Genesis TV each weekday afternoon (SKY 772) which I contribute on from time to time.
I have experienced God when running to him with regret, and HIS passive yet strong arms are quick to hold me…and new beginnings..many..I love that HE gives unlimited do-overs!
as for the sexual activity with young people…even if there is or isn’t alcohol involved..we all have a void that will not fill up without Jesus. I think we were designed to look for HIM, but generally life causes so many pains and hurts that people generally grab at that first thing that holds out promise to fill the void…
Hi Darla, I know what you mean about unlimited do-overs with God, I love that His nature is so full of grace and compassion and that He helps us with anything we struggle with.
That’s such a good point you make about emptiness and pain, and the need to fill the void. Without Jesus living in us and healing the pain, it’s so true that we will look for other ways to try and satisfy this.
Hey Birgit – thanks for the info. I will pass it along to my friends. I hope you are well. :-)
Hello, Birgit! I’ve seen you around the blogosphere recently and heidi (real life) sent me over here today. Glad she did!!
If God didn’t give us a fresh start the feeling of hopelessness would have led me to suicide, I believe. His love, forgiveness and presence give me the hope I desperately need day in and day out.
Hi Michelle, welcome and it’s so lovely to hear from you. I really know what you mean about hopelessness despair and how God’s mercy and compassion is what changes everything. His unconditional love and the fresh starts He is always ready to give, are so amazing to me. God bless :)
kudos for broaching this subject — on air and in the blogosphere.
Thanks alece, I was thinking that most of us probably have regrets about things, both before we were Christians as well as since. It’s such an amazing thing to experience God’s forgiveness and grace, and also freedom and grace from our Christian friends to talk about these times.