Passion
I was a little concerned when I got married.
Not about Michael, or whether the day would go to plan, or what lay in store for us ahead. I was concerned about the change that being married would make to my relationship with God.
I was a student when I got married, and I had enjoyed limitless time with God during this era. In between lectures and essays, there’s a lot of flexibility, and I found that this was great for being with God.
And God had things He wanted to show me. He had foundations to lay and healing to bring, and soon after I became a Christian, He provided me with the most lovely studio apartment high above the beautiful harbour of Wellington in New Zealand where I would live by myself for the next two years. I had a view of the water and a hillside of pine, and I even saw dolphins from time to time.
I had no distractions, not even TV, or the internet (eek! 
), it was just me and God, and I loved it! I spent ages praying and asking Him things and worshipping, and it was a time where I heard God speak and see God do things in very tangible, miraculous ways. I am thankful for this, because even though God does not ask me to live in the past, that time of intimacy with Him has become a benchmark for me. Truly, as we draw near to Him, He draws near to us James 4:8.
And so, when I married and left my home on the hill to live with my new husband, I wondered about these times with God. Things would be different. There would be a new, involving relationship to enjoy, the presence of another person when I did pray, a TV … how could this intensity with God be maintained?
The honest truth is, I don’t think that it has. At least not when it comes to the time I sit in God’s presence. Perhaps that is inevitable, and even the way that it should be maybe. The Bible does say “There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband” 1 Corinthians 7:34. And there’s no doubt that being married is a blessing, it involves time and it is something you love!
But at the same time, the concern simmers. We marry, we buy houses, we work hard at our jobs and in our ministries, we have babies, we renovate, we nurture our families – all of these are worthy of course, and certainly ways to serve Him, but what about Him Himself? What about intimacy with Him? Our Father. The Almighty God. Jehovah Elohim. Jesus. The nights when I was too charged to sleep because of being in Your presence, God.
So today. I was sitting in Starbucks writing, and I took a break. I read about where Jesus told the story of the Great Banquet, to which many guests were invited (from Luke 14:15).
What jumped out at me was this one line. “But they all alike began to make excuses” 14:18.
I read a little more, and what I saw was that all the excuses were worthy. Defendable. One person had just bought property. Another, a business. Another, had just got married – “I have just got married, so I can’t come” 14:20.
The kingdom of heaven is being sidelined by our lives.
And equally perhaps, our intimacy with God.
I sat on the tube on my way home, mulling this over.
God, no matter what, help me to be passionate about You. Help me not to get absorbed in the seasons and ordinariness of life, so that I forget the sound of Your voice and what it feels like to be close to You.
Hey B, I love this post as it’s very real.
I’d like to bring another angle to this also. The famous scripture:
Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son”
The main part that stands out to me is the last bit. That HIS PURPOSE is that we BECOME like Jesus (through the Holy Spirit). Marriage is an amazing vehicle for that.
We bring so much joy when we serve our husbands first & reflect our love for Christ in our relationship to our husbands. This is in our thoughts & how we talk & our responses. Becoming like Jesus in marriage is more challenging then doing so many things that we have come to call “ministry”.
It is beautiful as it stretches you & really exercises the fruit of the spirit which we are to walk in & day to day we can become more like Jesus.
1 Peter 3 talks about our inner person “let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God”. This was in reference to our relationships to our husbands & the focus of our self. It’s amazing that we still bring joy to God by doing His will in marriage.
Thank you for reminding me about that personal intimacy with Him & also remember as you serve your husband you are fulfilling your number one ministry which is to be a helpmate to your husband which brings Him glory & Joy.
Love u B… xxx
I’m so very glad you shared this with us Birgit. I’ve been alone for the past 8 years. I haven’t even been out on a date. My friends suggest that perhaps I might consider a husband but my biggest fear is, now that I have found Jesus, I don’t want anyone to take His place. I might be too weak or they might be too strong for me to resist. After having read your post I’m back to being content repeating what I have been for the last 5 years. If God’s plans for me include a husband He’ll surely send someone who will increase my desire to spend time with Him, someone with whom I can pray. Whatever His plans are I’m ready.
I cna see your passion coming through this and the very fact that you are aware of it means you won’t be turnign down any invitation Jesus gives you. Remeber God also said ‘It’s not good for man to eb alone’ God loves covenants and is totally committed to you!
Love to Michael and one day will join the married clan but like you I only wnat that if it brings me closer to him:)
Love you
Sal
Hmmm… a very challenging post indeed. Will I bend my ear to that still small voice that speaks to me? Will I shut out the din and bustle of ‘doing’ to turn and attend to ‘being’? Just to be with God… that is the cry of my heart.
Hi El – I love your comments and the verses you spoke about. It is so true that marriage is the ultimate in building Christ-likeness, our primary ministry as wives, and something that really glorifies God. I guess my heart is that no matter what, Jesus is the ultimate. God my Creator, the One Who knows and loves me like no other, my Redeemer, Jehovah Ishi. Just that the intimacy with Him Himself would always be preserved. Love you too. Thanks for your wisdom.
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Hi Hope, I love your heart to stay close to God. It is so good that you are resting in God’s plans. It’s so true that marriage can be something that adds so much to your momentum and unity with God – iron sharpening iron (Prov. 27:17), and the three-fold cord (Eccl. 4:12). I love the idea of pursuing intimacy with Him no matter which season.
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Hi Sal, thanks for your love and encouragement. I love the closeness you keep with God, and the way you hear from Him and serve His will. Love you too, and God bless
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Hi @ng, I love that. Just being with Him. Experiencing Him. Abiding in Him. I was so reminded of this today as I read this passage in the Bible, and the very good things that can sometimes get in the way of this simple closeness with Him. God bless