Discord
You know how the Bible describes a war that goes on inside us – our flesh against our spirit. Flesh warring against spirit, spirit against flesh. Do you experience that kind of conflict inside as if it were war?
For me, when I say, do or think things that I know God dislikes, or to be blunt, is sinful, then I feel regret, and I don’t like it about myself. But then, there are some areas of my life where sin, or the temptation to sin, is all-out war. There are two sides actually tearing at each other on the inside.
It affects my sleeping and my eating, and my sense of peace. From one moment to the next I am swayed. Resolve in God one minute, then yielding in my mind the next.
Discord.
Sometimes I feel that temptation and sin should be something I should just be able to cut off. But the comfort or promise or gratification or fulfilment that sin inevitably dangles, can have an extremely strong pull. But with that comes a sense of grief from being at odds with God. And when you know what is to be at peace with God, to experience His presence and His pleasure, to be separated from that is hell.
And so I am in a place of discord. It’s not a pleasant place, but as my sleep was disrupted again last night, I got up and read something on Pastor John Piper’s website:
Sin comes about in the believer’s life only by God’s permitting man’s natural tendencies to reassert themselves temporarily. And he does this not out of any delight in sin but out of a delight in the greater end which will be achieved. We may not always understand his designs but we need not doubt his wisdom and power and mercy to bring us through to glory in the end. It is very probable that if God did not allow us to taste the power of sin from time to time we would start to feel self-confident and would not appreciate so intensely our redemption. Thus thanksgiving and praise will abound to God in greater measure because he has brought his people through struggles and failures to perfect victory in the end.
This truly gave me hope that there is a point to all of this right now. That God is with me in it and will use it for good. I certainly am “tasting the power of sin” as Piper describes, and it humbles me over and over to come face to face with the reality that Jesus Christ loves me (and each of us) so much that He died on a cross because of it.
*Reference: Piper, John, The Sovereignty of God and the Sin of the Believer www.desiringgod.org
Birgit, you have such a sweet spirit. That hope will pull us through is the greatest hope that we can have aside from the supreme hope in Jesus.
Hi @ngie, thanks so much for this. Your encouragement is really kind and helped me to remember the importance of hope.Thanks :)
How fitting that I would read this today. Thanks Birgit. You are a lifter of souls. My countenance is changing already.
Again… another “go to my bones” moment. Reminder He desires to be in constant relationship – even when in “discord.” The beauty of the cross, making it a soft place to land. I love Him. And, I love your heart for Him. Bless you real good!
Hope, I’m so happy you were blessed in a way as you read this. Thsnks for your lovely encouragement :).
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Roxx, I loved this, just the reminder that He always desires relationship with us, no matter what. It made me think of psalm 139, “where can I go from Your Spirit,” God? Amazing that He loves us so much. Thanks for your blessing, you too, Roxx :).