A friend of mine chose not to watch movies about love and romance when she was single. She felt they didn’t help her keep the kind of perspective about love and relationships that she was reading in the Bible. She felt she might start thinking that it was really important to be in a relationship when, for that time, God had called her to singleness and being focused on Him. Or that she might start thinking that certain things were really important in a man that to God, did not seem to be so important.

I admire her desire to please God a lot, and even though I personally watch romantic comedies, I can see what she’s getting at. The idea that we pick up on messages about love and relationships all the time in different ways, but that these messages may not always be the same as those we see in Scripture.

It’s Valentine’s Day today and so I guess that’s part of the reason I’m thinking about this. But not only that. Very recently, Michael and I celebrated our Wedding Anniversary (the photo at the bottom is of us cutting our wedding cake). It’s getting very close to ten years now, which is incredible to me. Just that time has gone by so quickly. Of course I was an incredibly youthful bride, ha, ha, just kidding.

It’s really true for me that what I’m learning about being married and nurturing a relationship has very little to do with feel-good messages at the movies, or even cultural ideas about a relationship meeting your needs and that kind of thing, I’m learning more and more about the kind of love that God calls us to in Scripture. That really enduring kind of love that 1 Corinthians 13 describes. Listen to this  part [verses 7-8] from the Amplified Bible:

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to end].

I can’t tell you how inspiring that passage is to me, and also how daunting. We say all the time as Christians that this standard of love cannot be met in our own strength, and in my own life, I can say how true that is. I really need the empowering of God to love with such strength and humility, and I miss the mark all the time, but I am hopeful that I’ve made progress since the early days :)

And it’s not just that God empowers me to love in this way, the other thing I’ve learnt is that He is the reason I even try. For all its joys, being married is not plain sailing. We have had things to work through as much as anyone. Oh my goodness, if you want to know the fastest way to uncover the selfishness and pride lurking in your heart – get married! Well, that’s true for me at least. But my point is, no matter how hard it is to love in an enduring way, God Himself is my reason, because He loves me in that way. He sees the best in me, when I show Him no reason to. He turns the other cheek, when He could have walked away. He is kind to me, when anger is justified.

My heart is so compassionate to anyone who may be struggling in their marriage as they read this, who may love with this kind of endurance and still experience pain, and fear for the future of their relationship. I hope for you that God Himself would be so strongly present with you, that He would show you His compassion and His grace and answer you as you pray to Him.

One last thought.  Growing to love in an enduring kind of way, with a love that bears up and continues with hope, is so, so beautiful. What a precious gift of grace it is to build a life with someone. To be able to look back at all the great experiences you’ve shared together, the friends you’ve made, to see the ways you’ve grown. I see it as a precious reward from God to be able to do this. My grandparents have been married for nearly 70 years, can you imagine the richness of their shared life, and their memories. What a legacy.

And so just to finish with the full description of love from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Something so inspiring and beautiful to aspire to with God’s help.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

~ by Birgit on February 14, 2009.

Posted in Bible, Christianity, Devotional, Faith, God, Jesus, Marriage and Relationships