His Passion
I didn’t always know that God was so real.
There was a time when I believed that He existed, but He was in heaven and on the fringes of my life. He was like a Sunday morning fairytale. I would immerse myself in the story of Him for a couple of hours, and then I would turn from the altar, walk out through the doors, and away from any thought of Him.
It all changed at a certain point.
I cried out to Him at a time when things were very bad for me. I cried out to Him as if He could actually hear me. As if He were the only One Who could possibly pull me out from the pit that I was in.
All I can say is that He went from being a warm thought in a faraway place, to my very real Saviour.
I have been struggling with things in my relationship with God.
Not struggling to believe in how real He is and how present He is. Not struggling to believe in His mercy and grace and goodness that breaks me whenever I come into His presence. But struggling to believe that I can walk this road with Him in the face of some very hard things for me, and endure.
Do you know the story in the Bible of the disciples on the boat with Jesus where that vicious storm flares up? Imagine being in that small boat with the waves lashing and the winds howling and the skies thundering. He is near, but the tempest is so ferocious and you are being thrown so much, that in all reality you do not think you will make it.
Faithless words, maybe. But sometimes there is such a gap between the reality of our lives and our hope in God that it is hard to hold on.
So what does this have to do with Easter?
I came across this one verse in Isaiah this past week that said, “so His visage was marred more than man” 52:14. Isaiah said this hundreds of years before Jesus was even born, and yet he tells us here how His life would end. With such profound physical suffering that it would utterly disfigure Him, and in a way that would be unparalleled.
Yesterday I sat at church in a darkened theatre with thousands of others as we watched on a screen the size of a movie, a blow by blow account of what Jesus endured. The crucifixion was only the very end of the torture.
The anguish, weakening and physical shock of sweating blood at Gethsemane. The lashings with leather strips loaded with fragments of bone and lead that tore the flesh from His back and His body that many did not survive. Thorns as long as six inches being thrust into His head, such a vascular part of the body. And this is before the nails, the crucifixion itself, and the piercing of His body with a sword.
By grace, He opened my eyes to the reality of His suffering and death in a really deep way. It was as if He reached inside me and took of my heart with the reality that Jesus did this so that I (we) might have intimacy with God.
That I might really know Him.
That I might really experience Him. This life from Him that wells up inside me like a river of living water.
Taste, the Bible says. “Taste and see that the Lord is good” Ps.34:8.
Jesus loved us so much, that He endured such suffering that we might know intimacy with His Father.
Coming face to face with that realisation this Easter changed something in me. I’m not saying that the stuff that I have found so hard is all of a sudden easy. It’s not.
But I saw what it meant for Him. I saw His passion to make it possible for us to know God. And all over again I wanted to embrace that, to respond to that, and to love Him more than anything else.
Wonderful thoughts–thanks for sharing.
Tash and I sat down to boiled eggs royally arranged in shot glasses. I said to Tash, “I had never thought my shot glasses would be used to carry eggs”, and suddenly had visuals of them lined up on a tray with salt lemon and tequila on the side. It dawned on us that we were having eggs on Easter Sunday. Not chocolate ones, but barnlaid free range ones!!! So we proceeded to eat our eggs and talked about how eggs represent rebirth and new life, just like Jesus resurection. I think the whole point of Jesus dying and then rising again is to remind us that we are spirtual beings in a physical body. I tend not to dwell on the violent beating Jesus received because it is irrelevant when you realise the purpose of his death. It is to show us that our physical body will pass away and it doesn’t matter what affliction we experience here on earth because there is a promise for us. I had funnily enough boiled five eggs because that was what was left in the carton. I didn’t want to leave one little egg on its own. Tash asked after we had eaten our two eggs each whether I wanted to share the last one with her. My first thought was that two was enough and three might get stuck in my esophogas but then I thought how symbolic it would be to share the final egg. To me that represented we were yoked as one and were sharing in our belief. There is something very special and symbolic about at egg with its golden yoke encompassed in a case of pure white.
It is amazing what He went through to love us. I want to love Him well, and not neglect the gift He has given of Himself. Thank you for this reminder.
This is so good Birgit. I have become so aware of how He did everything so that we can have relationship with Him. He chose us as His own and then did everything so that we could be His. Thinking of you and praying for you. ♥
(Ps. As I was reading this and commenting that song you mentioned in your previous post started playing! Cool! God bless :)
What He went through for us to be able to be near Him…
We watched a movie which showed the same: the disfigurement of Christ. With each stroke I wondered, how many of those did He take for me? Sometimes I can be so flippant about my sin, almost cherishing some sins, not wanting to give up the thrill of the moment. But, when I see it from His perspective, what He had to endure for me to know Him… How can I be so callous?
Thank you, Birgit. This was what I needed to think about today.
Hi Slamdunk, thanks so much for stopping by and for your encouraging comment, God bless :)
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Laree, thank you so much for sharing about your experience with Tash on Easter Sunday, and how symbolic this was for you of Jesus’ resurrection. I love that the full gospel reflects this amazing promise that you have highlighted here of newness of life that we find as we give our lives to God.
I’ve never seen eggs served in shot glasses either ;) It sounds like you had a really lovely breakfast together xo
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Tawny, I so relate to your sense here of realising all that Jesus went through for us and then responding by living in a way that never loses sight of this or neglects this. He poured out His very life so that we could be with Him. So amazing.
God bless Tawny, hope you’re well xo
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It’s so incredible isn’t Rain – that He chose us, died for us and then drew us to Himself and His love. Our God is so good, and like you, I’m so thankful.
Thank you so much for your prayers, lots of love to you.
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Michelle, I really know what you mean, I thought the same thing as I watched this presentation about all the suffering that Jesus endured – that it was my personal sin (and all of our sin) that He endured this for. To come face to face with the realty of this is heart breaking. It fills me with repentance whenever I think of it. Love you Michelle, hope you’re well xo