I love Amy, and I love this worship. I’m preparing for a conference at the moment, where I’m speaking about God as the Almighty God, the unchanging One, the all-powerful One, El Shaddai. And so this worship has very much been part of the background so far. I love the words, the Names of God, the way these reveal aspects of Who He is, the peace it brings to be reminded. I hope you enjoy it too, B ox

El Shaddai, El Shaddai, El-elyon na Adonai,

(God Almighty, God Almighty, God in the highest, O Lord)

Age to age You’re still the same,

By the power of the Name.

El Shaddai, El Shaddai, Erkamka na Adonai,

(God Almighty, God Almighty, I will love You, O Lord)

We will praise and lift You high,

El Shaddai.

I love this version of Cohen’s Hallelujah,

especially the last verse of it, here.

It’s not one I’ve come across before in the covers I’ve heard.

I think it’s that it captures so much for me of what it is to love God with our whole heart, but to be as fallible and broken and in need of His grace as we are.

The song is beautiful,

And I hope you enjoy it,

B ox

I’ve heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I’ve walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah

I really love these acoustic ‘chapel’ versions of songs from church.

This is the very beautiful, Hosanna.

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love, like You have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom’s cause
As I walk from earth, into eternity.

The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen was one I chose, and unlike the Disney version, where the ending is happy, the original version has a darker, perhaps truer message, that not everyone has the happily ever after.

In the story, the Mermaid falls in love with an earthly Prince. Her love for him is so great, and her desire to be with him so strong, that she is willing to make a deal with the devil, or in this case, the Sea Witch.

The Mermaid has the most exquisite voice in the sea, and in exchange for her tongue, she will be given a potion. As she drinks this, it will feel as if a sword is passing through her being, but out of this, she will have human legs, to be able to be with her Prince. Without her tongue, she will obviously be mute, but she will be able to dance for him. Even in this though, she will experience excruciating pain, like treading on knives. As if the deal didn’t cost her enough, there was another final condition, which is that if her Prince falls in love with and marries someone else, her heart will break and she will lose her life, turning into the foam of the sea. And this end is how the story goes.

There is something in the tragedy of this, that breaks my heart. I don’t like sad endings.

It’s not the sadness of the ending that I wanted to focus on though as much as what the story says about her love for her Prince.

I’m currently working on a novel, and have also written several journals for a second fictional book, both of which consider desire, our search for love, and the price we are willing to pay, particularly as women, for love. I ask the question in both, is God truly enough to satisfy our desire whether we find romantic love or not? We say that He is, we know the Scriptures that say He will satiate our deepest hunger, but is this experience truly borne out in us? And what if it’s not? What happens if we seek love apart from Him and His will?

There is so much that we can see in this fairy-tale about the desire for love, and for me there is such a parallel to what I’ve just mentioned about seeking out love apart from Him. The Mermaid, a Princess of the Sea, who leaves her Kingdom, in search of love outside.

In this, she loses her identity, reflected in her muteness, and lives quite literally as a fish out of water, never fully at ease in his world, because she is of another, reflected in the pain she lives with by walking, as a constant companion in her love for him.

There is such cost, such risk in loving him, and yet in spite of it all, the forcefulness of her desire compels her. And I wonder how many of us can relate? The search for love, and the price we are willing to pay …

Article by Birgit Whelan © Copyright 2011

God has such compassion.

No matter where we are in our lives or what we have done, His heart is one of compassion towards us (Ps.103:8). We are deeply, deeply loved by Him.

‘Come to Me,’ Jesus says. In whatever place we find ourselves. ‘Come to Me,’ He tells us.

God knew us before the foundation of the world, and He knows the problems and the pain we are facing today, and He will not turn us away.

He sees as we are locked in sin and addiction and a cycle of hopelessness, and He will never give up on us (Heb.13:5).

‘For He knows how weak we are; He remembers we are only dust’ Ps. 103:14.

‘Come to Me,’ He says. Even in the grip of sin. Even after the millionth failure. ‘Come to Me, and you will find rest for your souls’ Matt.11:29. 

We don’t have to do anything or say anything, just go to Him. Just be. In His presence. In His love, which cannot be earned, and will never be taken away.

He will never turn us away in our brokenness. ‘A broken and sorrowing heart, O God, You will not put from You’ Ps.51:17.

‘Come to Me,’ Jesus says. ‘Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest’ Matt.11:28.

At the end of September, I received a call from my family in New Zealand to say that my step-mum had been admitted into hospital in a critical condition. She had been battling cancer, and going through chemotherapy, but had taken an unexpected turn. She was not expected to live.

And so that day, I travelled home to New Zealand to be with her and my family for her few remaining days.

It’s been a difficult time, but I am so thankful for the moments I had with her.

It’s difficult to write more about it, of being there at the end, of losing her, and the whole experience since. I’ve not been through anything like this, and find I am affected in the most unexpected ways, at the most unexpected times.

After that time, I travelled through New Zealand, and over to Australia, to spend time with my family. These weeks, of being with people I love so much, and in such beautiful settings, has been the best possible thing.

It’s so rare to carve out time like this, and it just felt so restoring. Just being able to sit over coffee, over a glass of wine, and talk. It is spring there, and being someone who loves the beauty of the seasons, this too, was so treasured. The sun, the blossoming all around, such beauty.

On that note, I have photos, but missed a lot of very beautiful opportunities sadly, as I did not always have my camera. I just wish I could have shared here some of the incredible scenes in those times. But I’ll put together a few photos here anyway when I can, in case you’d like to see.

Just to finish off with one of the last photos I had together with my step-mum, and also to send love and blessings to you. B ox

I can’t believe it’s been four weeks since I last updated – some exciting news that has happened over this time is that I’ve started a programme on Revelation TV, where I used to work full-time, called Cross and Light. At the heart of the programme is the desire to keep the message of the Cross central. As one who has been forgiven much, this forgiveness is only possible because of what Jesus did on the Cross. As one who is thankful beyond  words for the indescribable grace of God, this grace is only possible because of what Jesus did on the Cross.

On the Cross Jesus paid the penalty for your sin and mine. Everything we have thought and said and done that separates us from God, Jesus bore in His body on the Cross, paying the ultimate price with His own life because of God’s love for us. It is not by living a good life and doing good things that we are reconciled to God eternally – it is only as we humble ourselves, and simply receive what Jesus has done for us on the Cross, by believing.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son. That whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life John 3:16.

As we are reconciled to God through the Cross, we experience Him as real. Not some belief system, or moral code for living, but as He is – real and alive, a God of relationship. It is this relationship that transforms lives. Where forgiveness is received for deep-seated guilt, where healing is received for hurts and pain that have robbed us, where a peace that passes all understanding finally stills us. Where eternal life becomes our inheritance.

It is these real life transformations, these testimonies of God as real in people’s lives, that fill the Cross and Light programmes.

Just today a 10 minute clip from one of the interviews has gone up on the Revelation TV website. This is with actress, Tarryn Meaker, who previously worked as a model internationally, and who privately suffered with issues surrounding body image and destructive approaches to food and weight loss. Through an incredible experience where she cried out to God at her lowest point, God revealed Himself to her powerfully, and her life was changed from this point as she grew in relationship with Him. As I say, this is only the first 10 minutes of the interview, but if you would like to see, the link is – http://www.revelationtv.com/  – and you’ll see it as one of the featured videos there on the home page (for the time-being at least :)) -  make sure to check out some of the other featured videos too :)

Three years ago I visited what was once, the ancient city of Ephesus.

Along the path down into the city, amongst the long  grass and the red poppies, were the beautiful ruins. Ruins which whispered of another world, and a former glory. Of a city preeminent and prized in its day.

And on that path down into the city, I came across the fragments of the statue above. She is Nike, in Greek mythology, the goddess of victory.

Her image there in the rubble, was a reminder to me of the world at Ephesus that the Apostle Paul was called to by God. “Purposed in the Spirit” Acts 19:21 to teach and to “persuade” many people “that gods that are made with human hands are not really gods at all” Acts 19:26.

To “flee from idolatry” 1 Cor.10:14.

As I think about that today, I’m reminded that if Paul were to enter our world, our personal world of thoughts and affections, his message to us would be the same.

“My dearly beloved, shun (keep clear away from, avoid by flight if need be) any sort of idolatry (of loving or venerating anything more than God)” 1 Cor.10:14 (Amp).

Theirs were the idols of the blacksmith, with his chisel and his hammers and the strength of his arms Isa.44:12. Ours are likely far more subtle. The idols of our hearts.

Those things in our hearts that captivate us, that comfort us, that compel us more than God Himself.

It may be those things that we prioritise with our time or turn to first in our need, but I wonder whether the idols of our hearts can be even more hidden, or more insidious still? Certain beliefs or attitudes we hold onto perhaps.

I deserve better.

God has failed me.

I will act right, if they act right first.  

Beliefs or attitudes that compromise our peace with God, and get in the way of loving others in the way that Christ has commanded us (John 15:12). “Arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God” 2 Cor.10:5 (Amp).

If there is something that captures our attention and affection and allegiance more than Christ today, may our God of grace reveal this, and give us grace to bow the knee to Him alone (Rom.14:11).  

Let’s return to God with our whole hearts.

“And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment” Mark 12:30. 

At the moment I can see lots of lights and lots of snow.  The snow has made a real impression so far, flying across this incredibly vast country yesterday, with this expanse of white below that went on and on.

Over the next days we will travel north to a town in the foothills of the Rockies, back to Calgary once more, and lastly making our way west to Vancouver. We’ll even be in time for the Winter Olympics, and it will be so fun to see the added atmosphere this will bring to the city.

I’m hoping to post photos from time to time and describe some of what we’re seeing, depending on when I can get to the internet, and definitely when we’re home again :)

Today is the last day of the year. A new year, and even a new decade wait for us.

Even though I believe that change is possible at any moment, and that God’s mercy towards us is new every morning, I love the symbolism of a new year. The sense that a line is being drawn between what has been, and what can be. The hope of a new beginning.

Hope seems to be something I’m thinking of a lot at the moment. I mentioned it in my last post, and it’s something I’m taking with me into this new year. It’s the kind of hope that holds onto God no matter what, with the quiet and total conviction, that He is really, really good.

It’s the kind of hope that looks at a valley of dry bones and speaks forth life, and sees the breath of God released (Ezekiel 37).

I came across this beautiful version of Romans 8:28.

“We are confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to create something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan” Romans 8:28 (The Voice).

As I sit with my husband tonight, and share a quiet meal, these words are going to be my vision for the new year. In everything, in every experience, in every mistake, in everything, God can create goodness and beauty. Continue in surrender to Him, and love for Him, knowing that our hope in Him will be realised in ways more beautiful, more good, than we ever could have imagined. 

A very blessed and happy 2010 to you, full of God’s presence and love