I can’t believe it’s been four weeks since I last updated – some exciting news that has happened over this time is that I’ve started a programme on Revelation TV, where I used to work full-time, called Cross and Light. At the heart of the programme is the desire to keep the message of the Cross central. As one who has been forgiven much, this forgiveness is only possible because of what Jesus did on the Cross. As one who is thankful beyond  words for the indescribable grace of God, this grace is only possible because of what Jesus did on the Cross.

On the Cross Jesus paid the penalty for your sin and mine. Everything we have thought and said and done that separates us from God, Jesus bore in His body on the Cross, paying the ultimate price with His own life because of God’s love for us. It is not by living a good life and doing good things that we are reconciled to God eternally – it is only as we humble ourselves, and simply receive what Jesus has done for us on the Cross, by believing.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son. That whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life John 3:16.

As we are reconciled to God through the Cross, we experience Him as real. Not some belief system, or moral code for living, but as He is – real and alive, a God of relationship. It is this relationship that transforms lives. Where forgiveness is received for deep-seated guilt, where healing is received for hurts and pain that have robbed us, where a peace that passes all understanding finally stills us. Where eternal life becomes our inheritance.

It is these real life transformations, these testimonies of God as real in people’s lives, that fill the Cross and Light programmes.

Just today a 10 minute clip from one of the interviews has gone up on the Revelation TV website. This is with actress, Tarryn Meaker, who previously worked as a model internationally, and who privately suffered with issues surrounding body image and destructive approaches to food and weight loss. Through an incredible experience where she cried out to God at her lowest point, God revealed Himself to her powerfully, and her life was changed from this point as she grew in relationship with Him. As I say, this is only the first 10 minutes of the interview, but if you would like to see, the link is – http://www.revelationtv.com/  – and you’ll see it as one of the featured videos there on the home page (for the time-being at least ) -  make sure to check out some of the other featured videos too

It was too late, they said.

She had had a chance, but that was gone now.

“Why even bother?” they said. 

Now was the time to mourn. Now was the time for the grave.

Everyone else saw death. Everyone else saw the end. But not Jesus.

He heard their words about the little girl, about her dying, about it being too late, but the Scripture says He ignored them (Mark 5:36).

To Him, death and ruin were not her portion. It may have seemed there was no life within her anymore, “but she is not dead” Jesus said Mark 5:39.

And so they laughed at Him and jeered at Him (Mark 5:40), because He saw with eyes of faith. He saw a future and a hope (Jer. 29:11) where they saw the tomb. He saw possibility where they had given up. He saw the little girl rising up, where they saw her going down into the grave.

Undeterred, He went in to where the little girl was lying, and I so love this next part – He took her by the hand Mark 5:41.

Holding her hand in His, He spoke to her in faith and in power.

“Talitha cumi,” He said,

Which means,

“Little girl, I say to you, arise” Mark 5:41.

“And instantly,” the Scripture says, “the girl got up and started walking around” Mark 5:42.

And I wonder about a sense of the grave in our own lives.

An anticipation in God that has faded away. An intimacy with Him, decayed.

The fullness of His presence has somehow slipped away, and we feel the desolation of it.

Apart from Him, we wither (John 15:6).

The path away from Him can be as subtle and sweet as the pleasures of life (Luke 8:14). It can be as painful and hungry as hope unfulfilled (Prov.13:12). It can be as consuming as the cares and worries of this world (Luke 8:14), or the pursuit of the things of this world (1 John 2:15). It can be as consuming as a wound unanswered.

But in our distraction, we fail to abide, and we wither.

It is God Who gives life (1 Tim.6:13), and apart from Him, there is a sense of the grave.

But if this is the place we find ourselves, there is such hope, and we see this in this scene of the little girl who had seemingly died.

Jesus does not leave her there. He goes in to be at her side. Emmanuel, God with us. The Light of the world enters into this corner of darkness. The Lord of life (John 11:25), the One Who gives life (John 5:21), has come. Death will not prevail.

He takes her by the hand. There is such tenderness in this for me, such compassion. It is not just that He spoke words, or prayed at a distance, He took hold of her hand. He held her in her weakness. Where there was no strength in her, He held her with His strength.

‘Talitha Cumi,’ He said. ‘Little Girl, Arise.’

And by His power, in His strength, at His Word, she did.

Maybe the Lord would encourage us in the same way today.

If we are carrying a sense of the grave, of lost intimacy with Him, of hope decayed, let’s cry out to Him. Let’s allow Him to do what only He can do by the power of His Spirit in us (Zech 4:6). Let’s allow Him to come to our side, to take our hand, to be held by Him. Let’s allow Him to speak His Word of life over us, and to be restored.

Let’s arise in Him again.

“Little girl, I say to you, arise” Mark 5:41.

Above all else, we are called to guard our heart (Proverbs 4:23).

If our heart is the centre of all we are, the innermost part of us  which God Himself indwells by His Spirit when we belong to Him (Ephesians 3:16-17), the safeguarding of this place within us is to be above all else, Proverbs tells us.

It is to be first and most important in all of the choices we make affecting our lives.

So often I am faced by decisions that are not in themselves right or wrong. I could go one way or the other and neither path would be wrong before God, or in other words, sinful.

As I sit with the decision though, thinking of pressing ahead, something inside is amiss. Unsettled. Just ever so slightly.

I think about it some more, pray, and the answer comes. It is not that the path itself would be wrong, it is that it would lead in some way to compromise in my intimacy with God.

There is something in the outcome that would, for me, undermine, cloud, or get in the way of that place of complete surrender in my relationship with Him. That place of abandon with God. Of communion with Him, where you know you are abiding in Him, dwelling in the fullness of His presence and grace. It is a powerful place. A joyful place. A place of true freedom and true contentment.

And so God instructs me to guard my heart. To protect the seat of my thoughts, emotions, affections and will.  To protect myself from an outcome that would compromise in any way that life-giving union with Him and His Lordship. The narrow path.

It is the pure in heart that see God, Jesus said (Matthew 5:8). May this vision of Him not be skewed by choices that compromise.

‘Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life’ Proverbs 4:23.

I received an email from a friend yesterday, and as I read about her experiences of the past few months, I felt as if I were reading my own story lately word for word.

She was describing a time of drawing away with God. Being wrapped in the shadow of His wings. Devoting time to simply being in His presence.

I very much relate to this.

These past weeks for me have been a kind of retreat with God. Not entirely of course, there are still the relationships and the work He has given me, but even within this, to cut back and to be deliberate. To keep foremost the priority of time with Him in prayer, time with Him in studying His Word, and under the teaching of respected pastors. To be deliberate in keeping a quietness of heart and pace, so that I do not miss Him in the noise and the hurry.

I am so thankful that His Spirit is always with us even in the busyness (Heb.13:5), but this has been something different. His appointed time to go deep. To rework and strengthen foundations on the authority of His Word. To reveal sin and to call for repentance; yielding to Him and then yielding even more. To bring deeper revelation of what it means to be His, a life of meekness, of grace, of obedience, of servanthood. A life of joy untold for the indescribable wonder of knowing Him. The indescribable wonder of being reconciled to Him because He sent His Son to die in our place. We are loved beyond words, and if ever we doubt, the Cross is before us to take away any question.

I cannot begin to describe what God has revealed in this time; what He has done.

At the start of this year I wrote a post about this kind of work that God does in our hearts. “A deep and hidden work, His light reaching into the deepest parts of us … That we may be focused on greater output, but He is focused on greater input, and so He draws us away with Him for days, or weeks, or even years.”

This is still the place I am in. This is still the picture He is giving me – of deep water, a symbol or a representation of the deep places of the heart, and His Spirit at work there. (I’ve used a picture above similar to the one in that post).

I hope in His will that I will be able to post more than I have lately in the coming weeks. He has certainly given me a wonderful vision of His will for this blog in the time ahead . But I’ll trust Him in all of this.

In the meantime, here are some verses with the promise of deeper revelation as we call upon Him and seek Him,

“Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known” Jer.33:3.

“And I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, Who calls you by your name … I am the Lord, and there is no one else; there is no God besides Me” Is.45:3,5 (Amp).

Three years ago I visited what was once, the ancient city of Ephesus.

Along the path down into the city, amongst the long  grass and the red poppies, were the beautiful ruins. Ruins which whispered of another world, and a former glory. Of a city preeminent and prized in its day.

And on that path down into the city, I came across the fragments of the statue above. She is Nike, in Greek mythology, the goddess of victory.

Her image there in the rubble, was a reminder to me of the world at Ephesus that the Apostle Paul was called to by God. “Purposed in the Spirit” Acts 19:21 to teach and to “persuade” many people “that gods that are made with human hands are not really gods at all” Acts 19:26.

To “flee from idolatry” 1 Cor.10:14.

As I think about that today, I’m reminded that if Paul were to enter our world, our personal world of thoughts and affections, his message to us would be the same.

“My dearly beloved, shun (keep clear away from, avoid by flight if need be) any sort of idolatry (of loving or venerating anything more than God)” 1 Cor.10:14 (Amp).

Theirs were the idols of the blacksmith, with his chisel and his hammers and the strength of his arms Isa.44:12. Ours are likely far more subtle. The idols of our hearts.

Those things in our hearts that captivate us, that comfort us, that compel us more than God Himself.

It may be those things that we prioritise with our time or turn to first in our need, but I wonder whether the idols of our hearts can be even more hidden, or more insidious still? Certain beliefs or attitudes we hold onto perhaps.

I deserve better.

God has failed me.

I will act right, if they act right first.  

Beliefs or attitudes that compromise our peace with God, and get in the way of loving others in the way that Christ has commanded us (John 15:12). “Arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God” 2 Cor.10:5 (Amp).

If there is something that captures our attention and affection and allegiance more than Christ today, may our God of grace reveal this, and give us grace to bow the knee to Him alone (Rom.14:11).  

Let’s return to God with our whole hearts.

“And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment” Mark 12:30. 

We do not look with natural eyes, but with eyes of faith 2 Cor.5:7.

We do not look at the illness that threatens, the job that demoralises, the relationship that disappoints as if we are bereft and without hope, and without the arm of the Living God. We may suffer for a time with the ache of these things, but after “a little while” the Scripture says, our “God of all grace” Who has called us “to His eternal glory in Christ,” “will Himself restore [us] and make [us] strong, firm and steadfast” 1 Pet.5:10.

Our hope is not in the strength of our own resources to solve our problems, for “a horse is devoid of value for victory; neither does he deliver any by his great power” Ps. 33:17. Nor is our hope that the vice of troubling circumstances would have to loosen about us and allow us to breathe a little easier. Our hope is in the Living God – and in Him it is resolute and sure. The Lord God Almighty El Shaddai, the One Who hears us 1 Jn.5:14, Who is “mighty to save” Zeph.3:17. Our hope is patient and waits on Him, “the Lord” Who “does not delay” 2 Pet.3:9 but Whose timing is perfect Hab.2:3. Our hope is in His character and purposes and power.

We see with eyes of faith, with the assurance that God is at work in the details of our lives, with the assurance of His presence with us at all times, and in all circumstances. With the assurance that He is good and worthy of our trust, and that no matter what, He will work all things out for our good (Rom.8:28).

There are times when our vision blurs, when our circumstances and feelings and doubts are more vivid and real to us, our faith fades, and we begin to weaken and faint on the inside.

But He is near Ps.145:18.

Let’s return to Him Joel 2:13.

Let’s be still. And know that He is God Ps.46:10.

May He lead us beside the still waters, and restore our souls Ps.23:2-3.

May our eyes be fixed on Him alone 2 Chron. 2:12.

May no lofty thing exalt itself against the knowledge of our God 2 Cor.10:5.

May we see with eyes of faith (Hebrews 11:1).

For we walk by faith [we regulate our lives and conduct ourselves by our conviction or belief respecting man's relationship to God and divine things, with trust and holy fervour; thus we walk] not by sight or appearance 2 Cor.5:7.

But my eyes are toward You, O God the Lord; in You do I trust and take refuge Ps. 141:8.

It is beautiful in London at the moment. Spring is here with its clusters of yellow daffodils under the trees, and the blossom of pink magnolias. The sun is gentle and lingers, long into the evenings.

Spring is the season where the promise of new life is so beautifully demonstrated in all of this, the creation around us.

New life is also something we celebrated recently in our churches and in our hearts, with the resurrection of Christ, death swallowed up in victory 1 Cor.15:54, the promise of life everlasting before us in Him John 3:16.

And as His children, the promise of newness is our heritage. We are new creations in Christ 2 Cor.5:17 when we repent of our sin, embrace Christ’s sacrifice for us on the cross, and receive Him as Lord. His mercies are new every morning Lam.3:22-23, and every moment, as we confess our sin and turn from it, receiving His forgiveness. We are invited to sing Him a new song Psalm 33:3. New praises for new mercies, new joy for new grace He so fully supplies.

But what if newness in our life with God is not our experience? What if we feel stagnant? Old sins defeating us still, a listless apathy in the place of what was once an adventure with God, a hungry pursuit of Him?

Recently I’ve felt God reveal to me again the newness that repentance brings.

There is our repentance at the point of salvation, but this is more repentance as an ongoing, daily and powerful reality in our life with God. Not just words spoken, half-hearted and quickly forgotten perhaps, but a complete, deliberate, turning around. A changing and renewing of heart and mind. Repentance of sin in thought and word and deed. Repentance of selfishness and self-focus that so insidiously takes root in the crevices of our heart, and unnoticed and untended, begins to suffocate the Lordship of Christ. Repentance of failing to pursue, and by His grace, act on, His Word, His revealed will for our lives, “God-breathed (given by His inspiration) and profitable for instruction, for reproof, and conviction of sin, for correction of error and discipline in obedience, [and] for training in righteousness (in holy living, in conformity to God’s will in thought, purpose and action)” 2 Tim.3:16 (Amp).

What if, in this stopping and turning around and returning to Him again with our whole heart, we experience something new? Forgiveness that assuages guilt. Grace that conquers habits of sin. Hope that inspires, where regret has defeated. Intimacy with Jesus, where distance has disillusioned. Newness in Him.

“Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” Psalm 139:23-24 (Amp).

“So repent (change your mind and purpose); turn around and return [to God], that your sins may be erased (blotted out, wiped clean), that times of refreshing (of recovering from the effects of heat, of reviving with fresh air) may come from the presence of the Lord” Acts 3:19 (Amp).

It was a simple prayer, but the words felt strange as I spoke them. I had never approached God in such a raw way. I had never approached God as a real Being. As One Who would hear me. As One Who would answer. But He did.

In the solitude of that night, in those few words to Him, God opened my eyes to a vision. It was a picture of me kneeling on the ground of a cave, head bowed, spirit broken. The cave was black, and I was bound in this darkness by chains. In the next moment, I lifted my face to God, and as I cried out to Him, a force of this indescribable light broke through, and shone down into the darkness. As I looked up into this light, I saw that an ascending case of stairs had been illuminated. Seeing these stairs, I sensed the Voice of God in my spirit saying that ‘I am going to take you step by step from the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of Light.’ I found out later that these were words of Scripture (Col.1:13, Eph.5:8, 1 Thes.5:5) but at the time I didn’t really know what they meant. What was clear though, was that something had changed. The darkness that I had known both spiritually, and in the confusion of my life, had somehow been broken. Hope entered in. Peace entered in. And most importantly of all, I knew that God was real, and that I wanted to be His.  

I am reminded of all of this on this day where we reflect on the Cross and mark the death of Jesus.

Mine is the story of coming to know God as real, and falling in love with Him. Of experiencing forgiveness, and turning to embrace a whole new life in Him. None of this would be possible but for Jesus, and the Cross.

For He came to save that which was lost Matt.18:11. By His death on the Cross He took upon Himself my sins and yours, paying the penalty for that sin before God with His own life, so that we would not have to. Greater love has no one than this John 15:13.

As I receive His sacrifice for me, I am saved. Embraced in the love of the Father. Forever reconciled.

It is because God so loved each of us, that He gave His Son. That whoever believes in Him, “trusts in, clings to, relies on Him” the Amplified Bible says, will not perish, but have everlasting life John 3:16.

It’s today we mark this. That we remember Jesus, and His shed blood. The Lamb of God. Saviour. That we may know God, and live forever in His love.

Whatever circumstances facing you today, if you are facing hurt or difficulty, may the Lord bless you and keep you, may the Lord draw near to you and minister His peace to you. May the words of this Psalm encourage you, that our help comes from the Lord of All, the One Who made heaven and earth, El Elyon, God Most High. And He is mighty to save Zeph. 3:17.  

She spoke of the power of faith, and the power of prayer, and how vital it is that we cultivate God’s Spirit in our lives, so that we are sensitive to Him, so that we are strong in Him.

As if our intimacy with Him were a full reservoir within.

That as we come up against difficulty, as others around us come up against difficulty, we are full of His Spirit, strong in our faith.

That as He calls upon us to exercise that faith, and to come to Him with the needs of any situation, we are ready and able children of God.

Jesus Himself seems to model this connection between intimacy with the Father, and power in His life and ministry.

He consistently drew away to be alone with God. Refreshed and strengthened by Him. Renewed and focused in God’s will for His life. Strong in Him.

Luke tells us of the way

… He went up into a mountain to pray, and spent the whole night in prayer to God Luke 6:12 (Amp).

The next day, as Jesus comes down from this mountain and this time with God, we see that He is called upon to minister to overwhelming need, and all the while healing power was going forth from Him and curing them all Luke 6:19 (Amp). The account describes

… a vast throng of people from all over Judea and Jerusalem and the seacoast of Tyre and Sidon … came to listen to Him and to be cured of their diseases. Even those who were disturbed and troubled with unclean spirits, and they were being healed [also]. And all the multitude were seeking to touch Him, for healing power was all the while going forth from Him and curing them all [saving them from severe illnesses or calamities].

It seems that as Jesus was strong in the Father, He was able to draw on that strength, and see the power of God. 

God is so full of grace, and in my own life I have seen Him faithful to my prayers and quick to pour out His grace, in spite of my spiritual apathy. He is unconditional in His faithfulness.

But still, I am challenged by this idea of being strong in the Lord as Paul describes it Eph.6:10. I am inspired to seek God’s grace to grow in this strength in Him, that I might see, and be in awe of, the power of His might Eph.6:10.

… be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides] Eph.6:10 (Amp.)