I was having a hard time with a way of thinking I shouldn’t have had. It was definitely sin.

The thing is, I had been around this mountain before. The exact same one. Last time it was not so difficult to move away from either. There are verses in the Bible that talk about sin as something we can get all tangled up in. Cords wrapping themselves around us; ensnaring us. Twines around our mind, around our heart.

And Paul in the Bible says to us “stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage” Galatians 5:1. So why, why was I not standing firm? Why was I allowing myself to get entangled and bound?

I don’t know if you can relate to this feeling, but I started to feel ‘separated’ from God. I knew that He loved me, and that He was still for me, but I also knew He did not love this wrong heart attitude, and that distance between us started to really affect me. I hated the feeling of grieving Him but at the same time, I did not feel able to release the problem.

But God is so amazingly gracious.

I was praying to Him in frustration about it and He showed me something that has really helped me. It’s a verse from Psalm 81 - “Open wide your mouth and I will fill it” Psalm 81:10.

As I read and re-read this verse, God started speaking to me about satisfaction. That there was a need in me, a hunger, that I was trying to fill with something that would never satisfy. A heart attitude that was independent from Him and His ways.

Here, it was as if He was saying to me, I know you are hungry, come to Me with your hunger, open your mouth as wide as you have to, and I will fill you up so that you are completely satisfied. I have what it is you need, and I have it in abundance. I can and will perfectly satisfy you, if you come to Me.

Even though I don’t know how, God has given me the faith to believe that He is more than able. As I have trusted in this Word from Him, I have felt the twines of sin uncoil and fall away. I keep this verse at the forefront of my mind and I am grateful for God’s grace and excited by what He has shown me about Himself and about the testimony that He will give.

Open wide your mouth and I will fill it Psalm 81:10

If you think about it, a lot of us spend a huge part of our day at our computer. We blog, we read stuff on the internet, we email. Maybe our work involves us being in front of a computer for most of the day too. I haven’t done a health and fitness post for a while and so this whole idea gave me inspiration for one today - all about our posture.

I spend ages on my laptop each day, and unfortunately, a great deal of that time is spent slumping. I’m leaning over my keyboard, my tummy area is slack, my neck is craning forward and sometimes it can even lead to tightness in these muscles - eek.

So this is not good. And I know that the alignment and postural foundations of our bodies is a big thing. It plays a big part in the comfort, movement and appearance of our bodies. Not to mention safety and effectiveness during exercise.

Something we hear a lot about, that really helps when it comes to posture, is core strength. The strength of those deep tummy and spinal muscles which support our spine and uprightness. I always think of these muscles as a cylinder wrapping around the spine, keeping my foundation strong.

It’s something I keep coming back to in my exercising, but now, it’s also something I am thinking about when it comes sitting at my desk each day – that and trying to not to slump! Apparently a regular change of posture also helps to activate these muscles, so just getting up every so often and walking around the room can help.

And I can’t let this one pass without mentioning a spiritual thing I can see here too just the whole idea of taking the time to strengthen and develop the deep unseen parts of who we are - our character and Godliness. The parts of us that only God sees, but eventually do show up in the externals of our lives. Our core character, which, when strong, keeps us functioning well and helps guard against injury.

* For personal advice about posture and core strength, please contact a qualified fitness instructor. 

I was a little concerned when I got married.

Not about Michael, or whether the day would go to plan, or what lay in store for us ahead. I was concerned about the change that being married would make to my relationship with God.

I was a student when I got married, and I had enjoyed limitless time with God during this era. In between lectures and essays, there’s a lot of flexibility, and I found that this was great for being with God.

And God had things He wanted to show me. He had foundations to lay and healing to bring, and soon after I became a Christian, He provided me with the most lovely studio apartment high above the beautiful harbour of Wellington in New Zealand where I would live by myself for the next two years. I had a view of the water and a hillside of pine, and I even saw dolphins from time to time.

I had no distractions, not even TV, or the internet (eek! :)), it was just me and God, and I loved it! I spent ages praying and asking Him things and worshipping, and it was a time where I heard God speak and see God do things in very tangible, miraculous ways. I am thankful for this, because even though God does not ask me to live in the past, that time of intimacy with Him has become a benchmark for me. Truly, as we draw near to Him, He draws near to us James 4:8.

And so, when I married and left my home on the hill to live with my new husband, I wondered about these times with God. Things would be different. There would be a new, involving relationship to enjoy, the presence of another person when I did pray, a TV … how could this intensity with God be maintained?

The honest truth is, I don’t think that it has. At least not when it comes to the time I sit in God’s presence. Perhaps that is inevitable, and even the way that it should be maybe. The Bible does say “There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband” 1 Corinthians 7:34. And there’s no doubt that being married is a blessing, it involves time and it is something you love!

But at the same time, the concern simmers. We marry, we buy houses, we work hard at our jobs and in our ministries, we have babies, we renovate, we nurture our families - all of these are worthy of course, and certainly ways to serve Him, but what about Him Himself? What about intimacy with Him? Our Father. The Almighty God. Jehovah Elohim. Jesus. The nights when I was too charged to sleep because of being in Your presence, God.

So today. I was sitting in Starbucks writing, and I took a break. I read about where Jesus told the story of the Great Banquet, to which many guests were invited (from Luke 14:15).

What jumped out at me was this one line. “But they all alike began to make excuses” 14:18.

I read a little more, and what I saw was that all the excuses were worthy. Defendable. One person had just bought property. Another, a business. Another, had just got married – “I have just got married, so I can’t come” 14:20.

The kingdom of heaven is being sidelined by our lives.

And equally perhaps, our intimacy with God.

I sat on the tube on my way home, mulling this over.

God, no matter what, help me to be passionate about You. Help me not to get absorbed in the seasons and ordinariness of life, so that I forget the sound of Your voice and what it feels like to be close to You.

I haven’t seen a lot of hip hop style of dance before. Maybe in movies sometimes, but not live.

But last night we went with some friends to see this amazing performance of this form of dancing.

I love watching dancing. Any style. I really admire the talent of the artists; their movement, their strength and stamina, their amazing skill, the way it seems so natural, their rhythm, and their ability to remember all the choreography. It’s so great. So I really enjoyed the show last night.

I guess I draw things back to God often, and I really did last night seeing this performance.

The dancers were incredible and it was an amazing thing to see them operating in their talent. It was a blessing to see it, really. As if this is exactly what these dancers were born to do. To bless and inspire people through this talent they have been given, and the hard work they’ve put in to cultivate it.

I thought of God who is our Author and the Giver of good gifts. The One who purposefully and intricately designed us. The One who knitted us together, deliberately weaving into us skills and talents and personality traits that He would desire us to use for His glory and the blessing of others.

And I also thought of the particular part He wants us to play. The special place He’s carved out for us in the world, and in this time in history. The special function that we have within His Body.

As much as I love dancing, I will never be like the dancers I saw on stage last night for example (God-willing), but then, I know that in God’s plan He has something else that He’s specially crafted me for. Big or small, there is a reason He has made me, and each of us, the way we are; and a special purpose He has in mind.

Isn’t that so great? That we each have been given talents by God, and He has purpose for our lives for His glory.

So I thank God for the blessing of seeing these dancers, and for the gift He’s given, it’s really inspired me to see the blessing that comes when we operate in the gifting He’s given us.

Do you have a sense of God’s purpose and your part within His Body? What are some of the gifts or talents He’s given you that you feel He has a purpose for?

 It’s really early and the morning light is streaming through the window. It’s really beautiful.

I have this weird thing where once the light enters the room, I wake and can’t sleep anymore. So, no sleeping-in for me but I don’t mind, I love the early mornings.

Michael is pretty much the same way, and I half expected to see him when I wandered out this morning as he had got up before me, but then I realised something amazing about him. He had already left for work. It was really early, and he was already on his way.

As I stirred my coffee in the yellow morning sun, I was really struck with appreciation for him. And admiration. He is a really hard working person, really diligent, and really on to it, and a blessing to our small family of two.

Usually I’d probably have a thought like this, and then get on with my day, but I started to think about how God asks us to cultivate thankfulness. Thankfulness for all the blessings He gives us, but in particular, the people He gives us in our lives.

I guess it’s easy to take those closest to us for granted in a way. To not see them in the way we did at the beginning maybe; to not see the ways that they bless us every day with their affection and funniness and commitment. Maybe the opposite in fact, eek! Maybe we see their flaws more quickly these days, more quickly than our own even.

But there’s that verse in the Bible where God asks us to build each other up, to let other people know what we love about them and why they are special in our lives. The verse says “encourage one another and build each other up” 1 Thessalonians 5:11. I figure, what better place to start than with our spouses.

So, what are some of the things that you love and value about your husband or wife? Or your children, your best friend, or another special person in your life? What are some good things that you have found which come from cultivating thankfulness for the people in our lives?

Are there parts of your life where you are hoping to see growth and change?

I would like to move into uncharted territory again with God instead of playing it safe. I would like to grow in my cooperation with God’s Spirit to actually become what He is calling me to; Christ-likeness. To not make the same mistakes because I am not allowing God to heal me. To work hard by His grace, in my relationships, in my work, at the gym.

I have a long way to go. God is so patient with me. I am not always so patient with myself. I feel frustration for “going around the same mountains.” I wish I could skip the in-between sometimes, the growing pains, the sticking-at-it, and see the end realised.

I listened to some teaching last night about patience and it has reminded me of the important point that change takes time. Growth takes time. God has ordered it this way for the most part. The growth of a baby through pregnancy, our healing from injury or illness, our maturing into adulthood, and into Christ-likeness as Christians. Learning a language, building a relationship, building fitness and losing weight. All worthwhile, and all take time.

The reason for my photo of a garden is that the teaching I listened to highlighted a passage in James. The part that made an impression on me was “Be patient then … See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm” 5:7-8.

This picture of growth from the land so perfectly shows this idea of time and patience. I am not a farmer or gardener (yet) but this is how I imagine it to be. The soil is broken up, the seed is planted and day by day, season by season, it is nurtured. Nothing is visible at first, but the farmer stays with it, faithful, hopeful. Eventually, after the longest time, there is a sign. A shoot from the soil maybe. Growth, blossoming and then a harvest. A garden of beauty.

The reward for patience.

Which areas would you like to grow in? Do you find patience comes easily?

There’s that saying that variety is the spice of life.

Well, I’ve tried something new this week.

I’ve found with writing that you can feel a bit hemmed in being at home all the time. There’s no margin between work life and home life, job and family. I think it would be too much of a stretch to say that I miss the yuck London commutes with a million other people piled into a train carriage each day, but I do miss the going somewhere.

It’s also very solitary. I expected this, and I actually love being on my own, and doing creative things, but too much of it, and you can get lonely. There’s no one to chat with as you stir the tea in the kitchen, there’s no small-talk about the weekend or family stuff, in fact sometimes you realise you’ve barely said a word out loud all day, eek.

So anyway, I adore my home and I adore the peacefulness, but in aid of being part of the wider world, I’ve tried something new this week. I’ve packed up my laptop, jumped on an early train with Michael and gone to Starbucks! Yay, for Starbucks! It’s a lovely one too, airy, bright, big windows, lots going on.

I buy a gigantic skinny latte, open up my computer and start going to work for the next couple of hours. I’m amazed at how much I can get done as distractions are easy, but it’s fine. I get really absorbed, and every once in a while come up for a sip of coffee and to take in the receptionists buying bags of frappuccinos and muffins to take back to the office, and the coffee business meetings going on all around me. It’s great.

So, what do you do when you find that something in your life needs spice or needs something new? Maybe in your marriage, your appearance, your exercise regime, your time with God?