“Stay at your post, watching … I say it to you, and I’m saying it to all: Stay at your post” Mark 13: 35-37 (TM).

As much as we are assured of peace in Christ (John16:33), and His presence with us in all we go through (Heb.13:5), Jesus never promised that our lives would be free from trouble. In fact, He said to expect adversity (John16:33). To expect trials. The Bible even says to welcome these because of the refining of our character and maturity as we are molded more into His likeness (Rom.5:3-4).

But adversity is hard. Sometimes so hard, and so painful and confusing, that we wonder if we will actually come through it. And then there is the grief and regret sometimes, that life didn’t go according to plan. That we made poor choices. That others hurt us in ways we didn’t expect. I am thankful for a God Who redeems, Who brings beauty from ashes (Is.61:3). A God Who restores, even for time itself, when the locust has stolen the years (Joel 2:25).

But what about being in the middle of something really hard, something you know God would have you persevere with? A difficult marriage. A difficult job. Singleness. A strained family relationship. What about the temptation to give up and walk away?

The words of Jesus in the verse above (in the context of His return) have been something that encourage me so much in times that are hard.

“Stay at your post.”

Keep on, and continue in, those relationships and circumstances I know God has entrusted to me for this time.

It is so hard when I think too long about my feelings in a difficult situation, about needs not being met, but when I lift my focus to God, to His glory, to His bigger, eternal purposes that may not be clear for the moment, then I find myself strengthened. I find that a kind of joy comes even – not in the difficulty, but in the presence of God’s Spirit at work within me.

“I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” Phil. 3:14.

In our weariness to persevere, let’s draw near to God. Let’s wait on Him, until He has renewed our strength (Is.40:31). Let’s behold His beauty and His goodness, His holiness and His love, strong in devotion to this awesome God we serve.

Our confidence in Him, will be richly rewarded (Hebrews 10:35).

This free photo slideshow generated with Smilebox

Michael and I have just got back from an amazing holiday in Canada. Canada’s always been a place we’ve wanted to visit and when Michael was over there with his work this month, we decided to extend the time and travel around a bit. We had an incredible time and the country is truly stunning!

I’ve put together a slideshow of some of the beautiful scenes we saw above. If you’d like to know more about the images, I’ve written all about our time there below. It gives more of an explanation of what you see in the photos. Otherwise I really hope you enjoy them, and I’d love to know which scenes you liked best  …

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We spent most of our time in the Rockies, and these mountains have been one of the most beautiful and awesome things I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember  seeing anything that compares with their scale and magnificence. The mountains surround you, and go on and on as far off into the distance as you can see. And they are so huge, I can’t even describe it. Apparently the entire length of the Rockies is 4,800km, spanning from the northern most part of British Columbia in Canada, right down to New Mexico in America’s South West.

The highest peak we went to was Sulphur Mountain. The height is 2,281m (7,486 ft). This is insanely high! The views are panoramic and out of this world. Michael and I took the Gondola up. These seat four at the most, but even with the two of us, it seemed pretty full. It takes about 10 minutes to get to the summit, and it’s an amazing ride! The views get more and more breathtaking, and the ground, and then the trees, and then the canopy of the trees, get more and more distant. You’re in this little cabin of a thing, being suspended at this crazy high height! It was pretty exciting up there, and I’m not even afraid of heights!

In the slideshow, you’ll see photos of this ride, the little town where we stayed called Banff with its surrounding mountains, and also the views from the top of Sulphur Mountain. Just to say that it was so hard to capture the sheer scale of these mountains. They are truly immense. I felt that the camera could not really do it justice because it couldn’t really contain them or reflect how utterly minute we are compared with them. But hopefully it gives a sense of it anyway .

There are pictures of a place called Lake Louise. This place was unbelievably beautiful. You trod along this path thick with snow through the trees, and then this scene unfolds before you of this magnificent glacial lake covered over in ice. It was almost dusk when we visited, and the sun shone from behind the glaciers, and Michael came over as I was taking photos of it all and said, ‘It’s like God waking.’ His description was so perfect. He should be the writer ha, ha! Apparently in the summer, the colour of this water is emerald (it’s to do with rock flour carried over into the water from the glaciers above apparently). Can you imagine how beautiful that would be? Wow! The winter created a whole other mood though and it was exquisite – you’ll even see sculptures of ice on the lake that were part of a competition. A whole a palace of ice even!! Afterwards we sat around a campfire and ate hot apple pie with cream – there are photos of these too.

Another highlight of our time in the Rockies was a visit to the Upper Hot Springs. Apparently there are several naturally occurring thermal springs in the area we were staying, and so the opportunity to go to these pools and soak in the steaming water with this stunning alpine backdrop couldn’t be passed up! It was just beautiful. This amazing combination of freezing air, and steaming hot water. I’ve included a couple of photos.

We also visited the cities of Calgary and Vancouver. We stayed downtown in Calgary and spent our couple of days there just walking through the city and taking it all in. It was obviously very urban with its high-rises and city parks covered in snow. In some ways Calgary reminded me of our time in downtown Seattle last year. Similar architecture of the buildings, the mirror glass, even a tower very reminiscent to me of the Seattle Space Needle!

We travelled by Greyhound from Calgary to Vancouver, with a start at the station in Calgary at 6:45am, ending at the station in Vancouver at 10:45pm! It was a long day but worth every minute for the scenery from Alberta through British Columbia, which I had hoped for. Pictures of this Road Trip are included too, as well as these paintings I saw hanging in the Greyhound station in Calgary of scenes which I thought were really quite sweet, both including a Greyhound coach somewhere within.

Vancouver was such a highlight! Not only were we there for the Winter Olympics, but we got to see my cousins, Morgana, who has just moved up from Seattle, and Aubrey, who came up with his girlfriend to watch the very big Canada v America ice hockey game! We spent the day in one of the pavilions (which I think was especially set up for the games) called the Irish House. It was a great atmosphere, especially once the game started. I got to experience firsthand the passion that the Canadians have for their national sport, it was fantastic! Every time they scored, the place completely exploded! My cousins seemed to be pretty much the only Americans in the whole place, this tiny bit of blue in a sea of red! I would have loved to have seen the atmosphere had Canada won that game, but in the end it went to the States, 5:3. It may be that the two teams meet again in the final – that would be a great game to watch, the atmosphere even more charged after this round!!

In general, the feel of Vancouver was really alive and bursting with people. Apparently accommodation has been booked out across the city for months in advance, with cruise ships being brought in and moored in the harbour to house the extra volunteers who have travelled to the city to help with support over the Olympics. It really was such a fantastic atmosphere with so much going on around the city, and so many celebration sites for the games. We tried to see as much as possible – the Olympic Cauldron, travel on the Bombardier Streetcar (the Olympic Line), as well as visits to some great parts of town like the historic Gastown, Yaletown and beautiful Granville Island with its wonderful markets!

It really was an amazing, and very full ten days in this beautiful country! There’s lots to see in the slideshow, and I really hope you enjoy it, and that it gives a good sense of both the dramatic beauty of the scenery, and the wonderful bright atmosphere of the cities .

Right now I’m sitting by the window in our hotel room, with a view out over the city of Calgary. It’s still dark outside, but I’ve been awake for hours, still not used to the time difference with London . I arrived into this beautiful country yesterday for a holiday with Michael.  

At the moment I can see lots of lights and lots of snow.  The snow has made a real impression so far, flying across this incredibly vast country yesterday, with this expanse of white below that went on and on.

Over the next days we will travel north to a town in the foothills of the Rockies, back to Calgary once more, and lastly making our way west to Vancouver. We’ll even be in time for the Winter Olympics, and it will be so fun to see the added atmosphere this will bring to the city.

I’m hoping to post photos from time to time and describe some of what we’re seeing, depending on when I can get to the internet, and definitely when we’re home again

This photo was taken by the Royal Palace in Prague on our visit there a few months ago. I thought these statues were so beautiful and so full of grace and poise and stature. Even the flow of the garments seem graceful. When I saw it it brought to mind Psalm 144:12, where David says “May our sons flourish in their youth like well-nurtured plants. May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace.” 

If you would like to see the slideshow of photos from Prague, please click here. 

I had a big work event today, one of those times where you really hope to be bright eyed and clear.

The trouble is, I really wasn’t.

Everyday things seemed to get in the way of me feeling ready.

Yesterday, the time I had set aside for preparation went out the window when something unexpected came up, swallowing all of my time, then a bad night’s sleep, and I can’t generally string a sentence together when I’ve had a night without sleep, so I got out of bed feeling frayed and tentative about what the day would hold.

But in the middle of this very ordinary experience, God revealed something which has staggered me.

I got off the bus, on my way to the event, realising the full weight of how ill equipped I was.

God has been teaching me a lot about what it means to be living in His grace recently, really free in His grace, and in those moments just before, I realised His grace is all I had (and that it’s all I ever have).

But as I spoke out His promise in my heart, My grace is sufficient for you 2 Cor. 12:9, I felt His Spirit ask me the question, But will you trust that it is sufficient for you?

Will I trust that His grace is sufficient?

So often, I have clung with tight fists to this hope that God will come through for me in a situation. God, You have to help me, I can’t do this without You. Please give me Your grace. The thing is though, the minute I’ve spoken out this kind of prayer, I go straight back to the nerves and the stress and the worry, as if I were facing the situation all on my own.

What God revealed to me in that moment though is this: will you trust Me? Will you let this go to Me? Will you release this to Me?

It was like holding the worry to my heart, and then drawing it away, looking up, and holding it out to Him to take from me.

It was risking.

It was not knowing.

It was a confident expectation in Him.

It was faith.

And you know what? It all worked out. Better, actually, than I could have imagined. Better, than the other times I have been in this particular situation. And it was all Him.

My example could not have been more routine, but this realisation of His faithfulness has been so inspiring and so freeing for me today. Maybe there is something in your life right now, maybe something very different, a relationship, a problem at work, a situation that seems hopeless, and maybe the Lord would ask you the same,

Will you trust Me? Will you let this go to Me? Will you release this to Me?

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us ~ Ephesians 3:19-20 (The Message).

I came to the end of a day of writing yesterday, made some tea, and sat down with a book.

It’s this beautiful book, all about God’s grace, and His love.

The words made an impression on me at times, and I felt as if this was God. As if it were Him showing me things through this book, about the gravity of His love for us, about the tenderness He feels.

There is this verse in Isaiah that speaks of God giving to us riches from the secret places, and treasures from the darkness (Isaiah 41:23), and for some reason I thought of this, as if He were reaching into the deep, and drawing forth such beauty for me to meditate on.

When I sat down to try and write about all of this late last night, the words wouldn’t come. This is not the first time I’ve felt stopped in the past months, really wanting to write my book, or write in my blog, or minister to a friend in some way, and yet nothing comes.

And so, frustrated, I asked God about it.

And He gave me a picture.

He drew an image to mind of a cave that Michael and I visited three summers ago. It was a cave on the island of Kefalonia in Greece.

To get to this cave, we travelled down a dark path under the ground, and at the end of it came to this scene which is one of the most breathtaking I can remember. It was a lake under the ground.

Far beneath the mountains of this island, and a forest of trees above, was this dark and hidden grotto, and this reservoir of water, hidden and deep.

We travelled out onto the lake in a little boat, the colour of it was like nothing I had ever seen. It was the colour of the sky, but even more brilliant. The most perfect aqua.

As we sat out on the water, a shaft of light broke through, and the lake literally shone.

The memory of it is etched in my mind, and heart.

As I sat with the image of this cave and this water, I felt as if God were showing me a picture of our hearts.

I felt as if He were showing me a picture of doing a deep and hidden work, His light reaching into the deepest parts of us.

His Spirit bringing healing, revelation or rest to those places of need inside us.

That we may be focused on greater output, but He is focused on greater input, and so He draws us away with Him for days, or weeks, or even years. To the outside it may seem as if we are not ‘doing’ as much, but that is OK, because we are exactly where God would have us. His light resting on the hiddenness of our hearts, His Spirit ministering, strengthening, refreshing.

And so He works with tenderness and grace within us, and we are transformed. And as the light shines on the water, and it is radiant, so we are made beautiful in His light, our lives radiant with His glory.

*The lake is called Melassani, in Greek mythology, the cave of the nymphs.

At the weekend I was invited onto Premier Christian Radio here in the UK to share a testimony in the area of body image and exercise addiction. 

A number of years ago, I lost just under 30 lbs (around 13 kg) over a ten week period through extreme dieting and exercise. Given that I wasn’t particularly overweight to start with, this was a lot.

In the interview I share about the extreme measures I went to. The rigid ‘rules’ I held myself to regarding food and exercise, and the physical and psychological consequences of this. In particular this feeling that being thin was really important, and of effectively being captive to a prison of rules I had imposed on myself, and the guilt and failure and frustration that set in if I ever deviated from these.

I became a Christian over this time, so I also share about the journey I went on with God in this area. That He is actually interested in every area of our lives, including our body image, where it is that we find our identity, and our health and well-being. I learnt that He desires us to be free in our lives, joyful, at rest in Him, and in the knowledge that we are infinitely precious in His sight, just as we are.

So if you’d like to listen – then just click on this link:

http://www.premierradio.org.uk/listen/ondemand.aspx?mediaid=%7BDAB4FFEE-658E-4596-BD0C-C52A210EC68B%7D

The interview is about 24 minutes long, and it was part of the Saturday morning ‘Big Breakfast Show’ with Rev. Tony Miles on Premier.  At the start we chat about mobile phones for a bit because that was the theme on the programme that morning

If you do get to listen, then do come back and let me know your thoughts. I’d also love to know whether you relate, whether this has ever been a struggle for you, what God has revealed in this area, or generally whether health and fitness is an important focus in your life

Join me here in the morning!

I’ve been invited onto Premier Christian Radio here in the UK to share my testimony about a struggle with Body Image in my late teens and the extreme measures I took to lose weight at that time.

I’ll be sharing about how easy it is to take health and fitness to extremes, with it even becoming addictive, and some of the physical and psychological consequences of this, giving examples from my own life.

It was through encountering God, and growing in my relationship with Him, that things changed for me. He allowed me to see the trap that this focus had become. I’d be lying if I said that I still didn’t feel the pull of this influence to look a particular way at times, but I have been set free of the hold it once had, with a very different view of it all now. God has taught me so much, through His Word and by His Spirit.

I am passionate about communicating how precious each of us is in His sight. Immeasurably loved Eph.3:19. Cherished. Delighted in Zeph.3:17. Rejoiced over Zeph.3:17. The apple of His eye Psalm 17:8.

Do join us if you can. It’s an early start – 8am UK time for about an hour I think. It’s called ‘The Big Breakfast Show,’ and you can listen live on the website by clicking here and then on the ‘Listen Live’ sign in the top right corner.

Lots of blessings to you, have a wonderful weekend!

The voice of condemnation is one that crushes us.

It is the voice that reminds us of our past, and the things we would rather forget, and we taste shame.

It is the voice of accusation, charging us with ways we have failed God, failed others, failed ourselves, and guilt weighs in on us.

It is the voice of theft, snatching away our hope that change is possible, stealing our confidence when it is needed most, and we quietly withdraw, fragile and unsure.

There was a woman who knew condemnation well.  Her story is told in John 8, and this is the picture I have of it.

She was brought before Jesus, and a crowd of people, and her shame was uncovered for all to see.

The voices of accusation were deafening, and she cowered, crushed under the weight, terrified of her judgement.

In the midst of this jeering and finger-pointing and her painful humiliation, Jesus stood, and went to her side.

He silenced the voices that condemned her.

One by one, her accusers dispersed until she was left alone with this Man, Jesus.

She knew His authority, and she knew her own guilt. She could scarcely breathe, let alone look at Him for fear of what He would say to her.

But He was the One to speak, and He spoke with tenderness and kindness, as if He saw through the veil of her sin to the aching on the inside of her.

“I do not condemn you” were His words to her. “Go, and sin no more” John 8:11.

“I do not condemn you” He said.

Later, Jesus would be crucified on a cross at Calvary, and He would do this to take her sin, and ours, upon Himself, bearing in His own body the penalty for that sin.

He did not condemn her, and He does not condemn us, but instead chose to be condemned on our behalf, so that we could be free. Free before God, and free from the torment of guilt and shame.

God had Christ, who was sinless, take our sin so that we might receive God’s approval through Him 2 Cor. 5:21.

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him John 3:17.

Jesus released this woman from condemnation in that moment, and through His death on the cross, He releases each one of us from the same. The choices we regret, the sins no one sees, the shame that sometimes paralyses us, Jesus knows, and He loves, and He has taken it all upon Himself. And ‘It is finished’ John 19:30 He said.

He was condemned, so that we don’t have to be. At all. Not by God, or by ourselves, and the many ways we may tell ourselves we have failed.

May we take to heart this freedom we have been given. May it be life to us, and healing to us when the voice condemnation tries to poison us, and hurt us. You are loved, and God is gracious and compassionate Psalm 103:8.

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus Rom.8:1.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free Gal.5:1.

I hope the New Year has started well for you.

I came across this beautiful account today, of a parable that Jesus gave about the kingdom of heaven:

“Or, the kingdom of heaven is like this: a merchant spends his whole life searching for fine pearls; yet when he finds a pearl of perfect purity, he sells all that he has and buys that single jewel and counts himself perfectly content.” *

And counts himself perfectly content.

This part is the part I’ve been thinking about. 

It challenged me because there have been times when I haven’t always felt this kind of contentment in God. The deep, quiet, rich kind, I mean. Like a well of life deep on the inside of you. I’ve lost sight of it a little. Looked around a bit unsettled, a bit restless, as if something else could satisfy more. I’ve forgotten.

But these words of Jesus inspired me to remember.

We are heirs of the kingdom of God James 2:5.

We have been given something of the greatest possible treasure, the greatest possible purpose Matt 6:33, and the greatest possible promise 2 Tim. 2:12.

It is such a privilege, and there is such abundance.

One of my resolutions for this year is to keep growing in this perspective, and in choosing to be content in Him.

*Ref: Wangerin, W, The Book of God (1996, Lion, Oxford) 652