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Sex and Regret

image Yesterday I hosted an interview on our afternoon show, talkGOD, and the topic was about sex and young people.

We talked about the reasons why people choose to get into sexual relationships at young ages, like the possibility of confusing sex with the desire for friendship and affirmation from another person for example, the link between low self esteem and lack of sexual boundaries, and the role that alcohol plays in sexual encounters (apparently the number of young people who say that they had sex after having been drinking is high).

We talked about the way people are affected. The obvious physical consequences that can result like STIs and teen pregnancy, but also the less obvious effects like the way people feel about themselves after having sex in different relationships. Some people may be OK with it, but others feel bad, and feel regret.

What about for Christians? I sometimes think it must be very hard for Christian singles because there is the added awareness and regret of having grieved God if they stumble in this area of sexual purity outside of marriage. I wonder if we talk about the challenge of abstinence enough at church, I wonder if we make it easy for single people at church to talk about the need for intimacy and the feelings of regret that may be there if sex has happened.

So what would God say to us if we are struggling or if we have regrets? Regrets about anything.

As much as He takes joy in our growth, His heart is completely compassionate towards us. He understands us and our weakness. “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust” Psalm 103:13-14.

Jesus Himself sympathises with us. “For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathise with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet was without sin” Hebrews 4:15.

When we talk to Him about our regret, and ask Him for His help to be different, His response to us is grace. Grace and compassion Psalm 103:8.

As I left the interview and travelled home on the train, I felt God confirm His heart of forgiveness and fresh starts in the book I am reading.

Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

Isaiah 43:18-19

I’d love to know your thoughts on this topic of regret and fresh starts with God.  How have you experienced God when you have gone to Him with regret? Have you had the experience of a new beginning with God in any area of your life?

Grace at Work

imageMy world has been no bigger than four walls today. 

Beyond the window, the sky is low and thick and white.

There is a roar of a plane as it descends through the clouds into London, and somewhere far off a car sounds its horn. Otherwise it’s silent.

Perfect for an imaginary world, and imaginary people.

I am trying to write a synopsis for the story I am planning. I have read that it can be one of the more difficult parts of the process. I am casting my mind forward, trying to get a sense of how things might unfold, unexpected situations, how characters might change. I can see how a clearer picture of how things evolve will help so much when it comes to the writing.

But it’s not the easiest. I got to a point where everything went stale, and I had to walk away for a while.

Can I do this? I kept thinking.

Then, God’s whisper. God’s encouragement.

Grace.

Grace.

Grace, I give you, and My grace is sufficient for you. For My strength is made perfect in your weakness.

I am learning to lift my eyes to Him in everything; in every part of this process. I am convinced of His grace and how He enables us.

How has God’s grace made a difference for you? How have you experienced God’s grace today in a big or small way?

Bounty

Grapes 

Photo: Hawkes Bay Vineyard, New Zealand by Birgit Whelan

Rising Sun

Rising Sun - Taupo (Bigger) I

Photo: Lake Taupo, New Zealand by Birgit Whelan

Smiling Daisies

Magenta Gerbera I

I was looking through some old photos today.

I took photos of gerbera at some markets in London a while ago. Orange. Pink. Yellow. This was one of them.

I love gerbera. They remind me of happiness. When I have friends to stay, I fill a vase with them for their room. These big, smiling daisies.

Photo: Magenta Gerbera by Birgit Whelan

Awesome God

Our God is an awesome God

I feel as if God has led me with this post today.

This came about yesterday while I was going for a walk along the river.

My head was down, lost in a world of thoughts, and then a song came onto my IPod. You may know it; it’s called Awesome God written by Rich Mullins.

Suddenly, with the words of this song, I felt as if God was lifting my eyes up, away from thoughts and worries and everyday stuff. He pierced through all of that and drew my focus to Him and I felt this surge of joy and total love for Him.

I was reminded of this post from about six months ago, and I felt as if God inspired me to link to it again today.

I just looked at it again myself and it makes me in awe of Jesus. I love Him with all my heart.

I hope it blesses you today.

The link is here – Our God Is An Awesome God.

Feeling Different

image He was the odd one out.

He had lots of brothers and sisters, and there was always a lot going on at home. Loudness, laughs, games outside.

But he preferred quiet. He would rather go off to his room, away from the play, and be in his own world. Daydream. This made him happy.

But this was not OK. His Mum and Dad were concerned that there was something wrong with him, that he was not like the rest of them. That he needed to be drawn out, he needed to laugh with the rest of them, and not miss out on all the fun.

In a family of extroverts, this little boy was misunderstood.

This scene was part of a TV show that Michael and I watched last night. It made me think about difference, and not just difference, but the feeling that there’s something wrong with us if we are different.

It can happen within a family, where a certain kind of personality or job or way of dressing even is thought to be best. Certain traits are prized. Everyone knows. It doesn’t even need to be put into words really.

And it can happen in lots of settings, amongst friends, amongst a social network of mothers, at work, and maybe even at church.

But what happens if you don’t fit the mould; if you don’t really fit in? Do you then feel worse about yourself?

It may seem like a high school kind of problem, but I wonder whether it is. We all like to feel accepted and valued and loved. A sense of rejection is no less painful because we are older.

I understand this as another opportunity to grow in God. That as nice as it is to feel accepted and valued by people, I am not guaranteed it, and rather than getting trapped and tangled looking for it, to come before the One who made me and who infinitely loves me.

The One who says, I created you, you were My idea all along and you are fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139. You are the apple of My eye Psalm 17:8, you are accepted in the Beloved Ephesians 1:6, and you are loved beyond measure Ephesians 3:19.

Have you ever felt the odd one out? Has God revealed to you how much He loves your uniqueness?

… that Christ might dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height – to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge ~ Ephesians 3:17-19

Spiritually Fit

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I feel as if I understood something about living for God in a whole new way yesterday. And I learnt this, of all places, at the gym!

Since I turned 30, I’ve been making an extra effort to keep in a good routine with exercise. I have a few reasons for this. Things like having energy for lots of babies God-willing (and easier labours hopefully!), and also, Michael and I talk a lot about health nasties that can show up later in life which good fitness can go a long way to counteract. So anyway, these goals are inspiring me at the gym.

I was there doing a class yesterday. It was an aerobics class, it was pretty hard-going, and we were at the final peak. My cheeks were bright red, I was frantic for breath, and my body ached. The instructor yelled something motivating, and pushed us all through to the end.

It was hard, but it felt good to make the effort, to push through, to move a little closer to my goal. As I thought about it later, I remembered how God speaks to us about our spiritual lives by painting a picture of an athlete. Their focus on a goal, their daily commitment to that goal, the preparation, the growing pains.

I realised how much goes into working towards my little goal for physical fitness, and started to get a fresh understanding of how I could treat my spiritual ‘ fitness’ in the same way. That every day is an opportunity for progress, that dedicated time is set aside, that I push through the hard parts, that I develop strength and I develop endurance.

Physical fitness may definitely be good for the years ahead, but the great thing is, that spiritual fitness will be a benefit for much much longer!

Exercise daily in God – no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making yourself fit both today and forever ~ from 1 Timothy 4:6-10, The Message.

Keeping On

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A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit ~ Richard Bach

I’ve just started writing full time this year. I’m hoping to write a novel about our brokenness and God’s love. The way His grace heals us.

During my study this week, I came across the quote above, and it made me smile and gave me a lot of hope. It shed light on the reality of any dream, that underneath it all, it’s about hard work and never giving up.

Let us not become weary … for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up – Galatians 6:9.

The Everyday Things

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The chicken was hissing and spitting in the olive oil, the rice was simmering gently.

I walked over to the fridge for the lettuce, tomatoes, peppers and soft avocado. I began chopping on the wooden board, decorating the plate with salad, keeping half an eye on the stove.

The recycling had to be taken out, the table had to be set, and soon there would be dishes. It was 7pm on a Tuesday night and I was struck by the routine of it all.

So much of the day is taken up by the little things. The mundane things. The necessary things.

It largely goes unnoticed, unless the smooth running breaks down. No socks in the drawer, no milk in the fridge.

It’s repetitive too. Tomorrow, the bed will need to be made all over again, and there will be a whole new stack of dishes to take care of.

As I drizzled vinaigrette on the salad, and pulled knives and forks from the drawer, I thought about all of this, and before I let a bad attitude sneak in, I challenged myself not to let that happen.

As colourless as the everyday work may seem, I thought about how it is infinitely valued by God as my family is cared for, and my home is a haven.

As tempting as it is to begrudge it sometimes, I know that God is looking for my heart to see that ultimately, it is Him I am loving through these little, routine, everyday things.

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men ~ Colossians 3:23