The days are beautiful and so sunny in London at the moment.

I headed out first thing this morning and walked along the river. It was just a little after dawn, maybe 5:30am ( ) ( ha, ha, I’m not usually up quite as early as that, but I was trying to be very virtuous today by doing a really early class at the gym!). Anyway, I love that time of day. It’s different from any other time. It feels so clean and new. And peaceful. Like God is there, and you can hear Him better, because it is so quiet all around.

I took lots of photos. Of the light. Of the water. Of swans, and ducklings, and a pebble path. I hope to post a few more over the next few days.

I’m trying to make the most of these stunning sun days. Taking every chance to go outside for walks or to sit in the park, with friends or with a book.

Something lovely from the weekend was meeting with a friend at this park nearby, buying some coffee from the cafe there, and then sitting under the trees to spend some time with God together, and pray. It was so nice.

Anyway, I’m so thankful for these gorgeous days, and the verse from Ecclesiastes is so true, “truly the light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to behold the sun” (11:7).

I discovered Hollyhock this week.

Michael and I were out for a walk, and took a new path, and found this  cottage set amongst a garden of this beautiful flower – pink and crimson and primrose. The cottage had been turned into a cafe, with this long verandah where people sat in the afternoon sun, and looked out at the garden, and drank their coffee.  

We followed the path further, and there was white jasmine on a vine. I adore jasmine, with its delicate flower and its delicate scent, and I stopped for a while just to breathe it in.

I feel as if my week has been full of moments like this.

The thing is I am keeping my eyes open for them because more than ever lately,  I feel as if time is passing by so quickly. This summer, Michael and I will have lived in the UK for seven years, and it’s the classic thing for me of not knowing where all the time has gone. Your lives are a vapour, God says to us (James 4:14), ‘my days are but a breath!’ (Job 7:16). Redeem the time, we are told (Ephesians 5:16). Rejoice and be glad in this day that the Lord has made (Psalm118:24.)

And so in the middle of the pedestrian and the everyday, I am keeping watch for those moments of beauty and joy that God gift-wraps for us. I don’t want to pass them by. I want to use my time well. Walking close with Him. Trying to love well. Delighting in Him.

And the cherries? Another very small thing that made me smile this week – a whole breakfast of them. They looked plump and red and exquisite on the kitchen bench in the morning sun, so I took one or two photos. Hope you enjoy them too.

I came across Dr S M Lockridge’s sermon again today.

It’s called ‘Seven Way King,’ and I absolutely love it.

It’s all about Jesus.

How indescribable our King is.

I adore Him.

Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.

The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm Matt 8:24-26.

This story of the storm is one that I love. Part of it is relating to the disciples’ fear when threatening circumstances like this storm come up in my own life,  and part of it is complete awe at Jesus, that “even the winds and the waves obey Him” Matt.8:27 – what a God we serve! But today I learnt another way to look at this story, and it has really inspired me.

It’s in the way that Jesus responds to the disciples.

The first thing He says to them as He hears the terror in their voices, and the anguish in their eyes is, “you of little faith.”

He speaks to their fear response, and asks them “why are you so afraid?”

I don’t know about you, but I stand corrected as much as the disciples in this story, because I know that my response in the face of something painful or hard is so often the same – one of little faith.

I look at the situation for what it is, and try with all my reasoning and resources to figure out the best way to respond. I might pray about it with one breath, but with the very next I am back to the fretting. Why do I so easily forget that because I know and love the Living God, I am called to a different, better, more exciting way of life? I am called to a life of faith in Him.

The God for Whom all things are possible Matt. 19:26.

The thing is we are to place more trust in what God says to us about our circumstances than the way they might seem to us on the surface. We live by faith, Scripture says, not by sight 2 Cor.5:7.

What is that Word God has spoken to you about that situation in your life? What verse from the Bible were you holding on to, that you have since forgotten about? Faith means we are to be certain of the things we do not yet see, Hebrews 11:1 says. Let’s stir up our faith again, trusting God more than our circumstances. Really trusting Him. This God Who commands the very elements to be stilled, can do anything in our lives according His will.

And He is faithful.

*The photo is of one of Mum’s ornaments that I love. Also, all italics in the post are mine

It’s been such a busy week and up until now I’ve not been able to post more on this series on beauty, but it’s great to be able to draw things to close today with this study I did on our identity in Jesus.

The themes of identity and feeling OK about ourselves have often come up over these past few posts, how it is that defining ourselves by the beauty ideal of our culture does not necessarily equal acceptance and security, or a basic sense of significance as a person. So the idea of this study was to look at the Bible and to see whether it’s possible to experience these things in our relationship with God. To see how He sees us, how He defines us, and how freeing and healing it can be to take on this new identity that we have in Christ.

If anyone is in relationship with Christ, the Bible says, they are a new creation 2 Corinthians 5:17. The Message version says it like this – “now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from God.”

It also says we are to “take off” our old self and “put on” our new self, which is being “renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator” Colossians 3:9-10. When we are in relationship with Jesus we are “new” women. That means we are free from the way our culture defines us because our identity now comes from the way God defines us.

If you can, take some time to let the truth of who you are in Christ soak in as defined by God Himself.

You are immeasurably loved with a love that passes understanding Ephesians 3:19

You are the apple of God’s eye Psalm 17:8

God rejoices over you with singing Zephaniah 3:17

You are redeemed and forgiven Colossians 1:14

You are free from condemnation Romans 8:1-2

You are the head and not the tail Deuteronomy 28:13

You are a conqueror because of Christ Romans 8:37

You are a friend of Jesus John 15:15

You belong to God and have been bought with a price 1 Corinthians 6:20

You are accepted Ephesians 1:6

You are assured that all things will work together for your good Romans 8:28

You have not been given a spirit of fear 2 Timothy 1:7

You are a precious child of the Most High God Romans 8:16

You are princess, a daughter of the KING of Kings Romans 8:16 + Rev 19:16

You are a citizen of heaven Philippians 3:20

You are complete in Christ Colossians 2:10

God has a good plan for your life Jeremiah 29:11

You are God’s workmanship Ephesians 2:10

You have been chosen by Jesus John 15:16

God takes delight in you Zephaniah 3:17

You are referred to as “special” 1 Peter 2:9

In Him you are above only, and not beneath Deuteronomy 28:13

You cannot be separated from God’s love Romans 8:35-39

If you have never known this before, you are a deeply loved by God.

At the beginning of this series I also mentioned I would re-post an article giving some men’s perspectives on women, beauty and body image, and also my own story about a struggle with body image and the freedom that I am growing in with God. Instead of re-posting these, I thought I’d provide the links to the original articles as we draw this series to a close. I’d really recommend the article with the men’s perspectives, I found their feedback so affirming and so freeing . The links to the articles are:

Men’s perspectives – http://birgitwhelan.com/2007/08/17/beauty-part-viii-a-mans-perspective/

My story – http://birgitwhelan.com/2007/08/19/beauty-part-x-my-story/

In the meantime, I hope you’ve enjoyed looking into this topic, and may you know how infinitely precious, beautiful and loved you are in God’s sight.

“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,

and come with me …” Song of Songs 2:10

There’s a poem from the Renaissance period called The Fairie Queene by Edmund Spenser. In it, the hero is entranced by the incredible beauty of a woman called Duessa. Duessa represents deceit and falsehood in the story, and her allure is a trap. She is beautiful to look at, but that’s all. In the end, she is ‘disrobed’ and her outward beauty is stripped away so that she revealed for who she is – a wretched, horrible witch.

We all know the saying that ‘beauty is only skin deep,’ but we live in a culture that seems to reinforce the idea that that’s all that matters anyway. But this is not what God says to us. Another way He wants to free us from an unhelpful focus on our outward appearance is to grow our understanding of true and lasting beauty, and to focus on cultivating this. Real and enduring beauty according to God has everything to do with who we are.

“What matters is not your outer appearance – the styling of your hair, the jewellery you wear, the cut of your clothes – but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in” 1 Pet. 3:3-4.

If we think for a moment about these two types of beauty – outer appearance and inner disposition – one makes an impression for a moment; the other that comes through in a woman’s words, expressions, actions and character. One is fleeting; the other leaves a lasting imprint on the lives of those it touches.

There’s one thing I find really interesting about the women who appear in the Bible. Although their physical beauty is mentioned, that is not the beauty that is influential about them. It’s the beauty of who these women are and what they do that’s most noteworthy about them. Think of Esther or Abigail – each of these women is described as beautiful but it is the beauty of their humility before God, their faithfulness to Him and their courage that make them remarkable.

One last point is have you ever noticed the way that people with a really close relationship with Jesus often emanate a kind of radiance from within that is very beautiful? There’s this wonderful psalm about this that says, “they looked to Him and were radiant” Psalm 34:5. My friend, Jill, actually pointed out to me that a different word for “beautiful” is used in Hebrew for people in the Bible who have this kind of radiance and beauty. Instead of toar which refers to beautiful “form” the word yapheh is used, which refers to beauty of “countenance” – King David and Abigail are described as having this kind of beauty.

I love the way Jill describes yapheh as “a countenance when person invests in their inner person. It is very attractive to the eye.” Regarding the glory of God radiating in a person’s face and body, she also made the great point that it is “a beauty that cannot be grasped, copied or even created by surgeons. It draws people to you, or away in shame and does not get less with age! The best beauty treatment for a woman is a few hours in the presence of God.”

* If you would like to leave a comment, but are not able to click on the title of this post to bring up the comment box, please click on this instead – http://birgitwhelan.com/2009/05/22/inner-beauty/

Many of us are familiar with the voice of the tyrant inside, telling us that in a hundred different ways, we don’t measure up. But how many of us have heard the voice of God which is gentle and tender and healing? Listen to these words to get a sense of this, “He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul” Psalm 23:2-3.

So instead of the message that we are not OK as we are, especially in the context of this series on beauty and body image, what does God say to us?

First, did you know that your face, your hair, your body and every inch of you is deliberate and handcrafted? That you were in the mind and the heart of God before you ever came to be? Listen to this incredible and beautiful verse, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you” Jeremiah 1:5. I knew you, God says to us. That speaks of our uniqueness, our value to Him. I formed you, He says to us. That speaks of His purpose in our design, that we are each custom made by Him!

It’s as if many of us feel we have to spend our lives compensating for ‘flaws’ we see in the mirror, the things we dislike about ourselves, but this is not true. God tells us that He Himself fashioned us! For me that means all of our quirks and loveliness, everything about us, is no surprise to Him. That He delights in our creation and we are “marvellous” as His works of art!

What I find so healing about this is that it gives me license to accept myself as I am, and even more, to be thankful. Instead of there being this yardstick I am forced to measure myself against, I can relax and even genuinely enjoy the way God has made me. Before, it was a case of “the thighs have to go!” Now, it’s “God knew what He was doing, YAY!”

And it’s not just that He has purpose for the way each of us is designed – it’s that that design is wonderful He says. Wonderful and marvellous even. These are the words God uses. Not wonderful and marvellous because we dropped two dress sizes and look like we belong on a catwalk, wonderful and marvellous because we are His workmanship – just as we are! We can learn to define ourselves in this way too!

And one other way we are described by God? As fearfully made. “Fearfully” in this sense means full of awe or reverence. Wow, that means that the way God has made us is something to be in awe of, and deeply respectful about. What a huge contrast to the message that taunts from the pages of women’s magazines that we simply don’t measure up!

“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.… I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvellous are Your works … My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret, and skilfully wrought … Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed”  Psalm139: 13-16. 

Have you had the experience of your mood being affected by looking in the mirror and seeing something that you really dislike? Seeing something in your appearance that actually causes you to feel frustrated, down or angry even, and has the power to change your mood and the way you feel about yourself. For some, that might sound extreme or an over-reaction, for others, it’s something all too familiar.

Maybe you’re OK with the way you look. Maybe you keep up with a strict gym or jogging regime, or a particular way of eating that you don’t deviate from. But what happens if something were to break your routine? Maybe a holiday away where there is no possibility of exercise or hope of calorie control, maybe an injury or perhaps even pregnancy?

What I’m getting at here is this idea of basing identity – who we are, and how we feel about ourselves – on the way we look. The trap of only feeling acceptable when we have met a certain outward standard.

For those of us who have been ensnared in this trap, and for those of us who are currently living it, we know exactly how miserable it is. So just to touch on a few reasons why this can be a problem.

Yesterday, I mentioned the verse in Ecclesiastes which talks about “labouring after the wind” Ecclesiastes 5:16. It’s a really interesting term because It seems to refer to working and striving towards something that is, by its nature, always out of reach. If something is always out of our reach, why would we spend our energy, creativity and focus on it? We wouldn’t!

So why then do we strive after an impossible ideal of physical beauty? And it is impossible for the majority of us. I came across statistic once that said of the three billion women in the world, only eight are super-models! Aside from the role that genetics plays, the majority of us do not have the time or the resources to afford the personal trainers, the stylists, the time at the gym, the time at the salon, and sometimes even the cosmetic “enhancements” that go into achieving our cultural ideal of beauty.

But even if we do achieve something close to this, it’s shaky ground to base the way we feel about ourselves on it because physical beauty wanes. God tells us that “beauty is fleeting” Proverbs 31:30 and that “all flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades” Isaiah 40:6-7.

The natural process of aging obviously affects the way we look, but so do the many other wonderful seasons of life – the blemish marks of the teenage years, the stretch marks from our growing babies! Scars of illness or accidents along the way are also possible ways that our physical appearance might change.

Physical change is inevitable as we go through life and age, and so to base our identity on such a transitory ideal, is setting ourselves up for disappointment and dissatisfaction.

I love the perspective that God gives us in scripture. I love that He has answers for us and His heart towards us is to see us free, joyful, and enjoying the way He individually created us. I can’t wait to look into this more in the next few days … 

When you look in the mirror would you say you were completely happy with the way you look? What about your friends or the women you work with? When you think about it, are any of us as women 100% guiltless when we come to the end of a chocolate bar? Are any of us completely relaxed at thought of summer looming, and our bikini-selves?

It seems that almost all of us as women are affected. Almost all of us are compelled by the idea of looking good or looking better, as if attaining physical beauty (as culturally defined) will somehow make us feel better about ourselves.

We know all the diets, and have been on most of them. We’ve bought the fitness DVDs and the gym memberships. We’ve been waxed and plucked, high-lighted, manicured and tanned from the bottle. The way we look is important to us, many of us anyway.

A beautician friend told me that when she gives women makeovers, it often gives them a real boost to their confidence and makes them feel good. Proverbs 27:9 also says that “ointment and perfume delight the heart.” We can see then that taking care of our appearance, make-up, and the occasional pamper, can be fun and a positive thing. But what happens when this becomes more of a focus in our lives? What happens if it becomes something that preoccupies us? When we feel that certain standards have to be met day to day perhaps – only a certain number of calories, a certain number on the scales?

Tomorrow I’m taking part in a programme on Christian TV here in the UK on the topic of beauty. A group of us are going to talk about how easy it is for us as women to tie up the way we feel about ourselves with the way we look. We’re going to seek out what the Bible has to say – what God says to us about beauty. His loving heart towards us when we struggle with dissatisfaction about the way we look.

Part of preparing for this programme has meant going over a series I did here on this blog a couple of years ago. I’ve decided to revamp and update this series, and look at the issues again. Over the next week or so there’ll be posts about feeling dissatisfied with the way we look, the nagging feeling that we have to do more to measure up, and the lengths we go to. We’ll be looking at the topic biblically, and the way identity and freedom can be found in God. We’re going to be hearing from some men too on the topic – their perspectives about women and physical appearance. And at the end, I’ll also share a bit of my own story about body image. The things I’ve learnt with God, and the things He continues to teach me in this area.

So we’re covering a lot. Please do leave your comments as we go, it would be really great to hear your thoughts and about your experiences.

So to get us started – what is it all about? Why is the way we look important to us?

Maybe it’s that we believe there’s a connection between being physically attractive and certain outcomes we desire in life? We may believe that our basic need for acceptance as a person is tied up with looking a particular way. We may feel the (perceived or real) weight of others’ expectations – that being slim and attractive is important and necessary within our family or within our circle of friends.

We may feel that our work opportunities are dependent on the way we look.

We may feel that in order to be attractive to men it means we must look a particular way. We may have a husband or boyfriend who even tells us so.

We may fear that we will lose respect if we loosen the reins on the way we look.

Our self-confidence and basic sense of feeling OK may be strictly tied up with maintaining a certain standard of appearance.

What about the strength with which these messages are drummed into us? We are all well aware of the influence of the media and pervasiveness of the “physical ideal” that we are fed, but are we so aware of the connections that are made between this ideal and our ability to feel acceptable, secure, confident and happy? As we progress in this series, we are going to look more closely at this connection and the problems with it.

One last possible reason to offer in this part is that perhaps on some level we do not feel OK as we are. We do not feel acceptable, or maybe we even feel shame, and our striving after physical beauty is an attempt to compensate for this. We believe that if we can hold it together outwardly, if we can be thought of as attractive, then we will be OK. But does the reality bear up? Or is this little more than “labouring after the wind” as the Bible says (Ecclesiastes 5:16)?

Come back tomorrow when we will look at this some more, in the post Beauty and Identity

© Copyright 2009 Birgit Whelan